Plenty of Nothing

Sexy Sadie

The Unthanks, Sexy Sadie.

Skraggy, No. 2

What's the Hampden?

The Spiders.

Morton visit Hampden Park in Glasgow today for a closed-door friendly against Queen's Park of the Third Division. If indeed the match is played in Hampden, and not at Lesser Hampden, Queen's Park's practice pitch, it will be witnessed by 52,063 empty seats. Surely a Morton record?

Hampden is the second largest stadium in Scotland, after Celtic Park, but in the days of standing room only the place is reckoned to have held nearly 150,000. It is the site of the Scottish Cup Final, as well as notable international matches, and will host the Commonwealth Games in 2014. Read more about it here and here. When the stadium is full the "Hampden roar" is audible a mile away. By the rules of Cockney rhyming slang "What's the Hampden?" means "What's the score?"

That this huge venue continues to be the home of Queen's Park FC, the only fully amateur club in the Scottish Football League and a perennial Third Division dweller, is totally perplexing to me as a North American. Any major league on this continent would have wrangled the stadium away from the club decades ago and installed a Premier League club.

Though, if you look at it another way, Hampden is lucky to have a tenant, considering the surplus of soccer fields in that part of Glasgow. Within a few blocks of Hampden and Lesser Hampden lies Cathkin Park, relict of Third Lanark.

Queen's Park's glory days all came during Victoria's reign. They have ten Scottish Cup wins, the most recent being in 1893, which would make Dumbarton their natural rival, rather than Celtic, Rangers or Partick. They wear narrow black and white hoops, and are nicknamed The Spiders. This pre-season they have played Queen of the South to a 2 - 2 score and St Mirren to a 1 - 1 conclusion, and beaten Airdrie United 4 - 1. Their training camp is at Largs.

Queen's Park and Morton last met in league play in 2002-03 during the Ton's temporary sojourn in the Third Division. Prior to that was 1966-67 when they were together in the old Division Two.

If Morton lose today they will have gone 0 - 6 in the pre-season. [Morton win 1 - 0.]

Hocus Pocus by Focus

Could you be more 1971 than Hocus Pocus by Focus? You could not.

Watch Your Fingers

In Genshiken chapter 65 Bostonian Angela causes a stir by putting the moves on Madarame, who's thrown into disarray because he doesn't speak English, is still carrying a torch for Kasukabe, and generally doesn't know what to do with women of the third dimension. Angela likes his glasses, and especially likes his hands, which makes this panel such a nice payoff, silently commenting with the safety advisory in the door window.

Pre-Season Unfriendly

Paisley pattern -- tha's dead swirly! (Swatch from Braw Doocot.)

Morton visit St Mirren today for the Refrewshire Cup final. St Mirren have won it five years in a row and lead the all-time standings with 52 wins against Morton's 51. Based on the 2010-2011 league results St Mirren are the eleventh-best team in all the land, whereas Morton are nineteenth-best -- and the match is at St Mirren's home ground in Paisley -- so the Ton are decidely the underdogs. But you never know.

Morton reached the final by beating Carlton YMCA 4 - 0 in May, while St Mirren defeated Gourock Thistle 9 - 1. Morton and St Mirren are almost always the two teams in this cup final. Time was when each club had a strong cross-town rival to make the derby more interesting, but neither Port Glasgow Athletic (winners of five Renfrewshire Cups) nor Abercorn (five as well) fields a senior club today. Ditto two Cup Arthurlie of Barrhead.

The Renfrewshire Cup was the property of St Mirren FC in 1960 when Robin Hall and Jimmy Macgregor released this 45rpm recording, "Football Crazy".

Most of what follows I have lifted from Twitter:

Ninety minutes before kick-off and the term "soap dodger" has already been hurled by a St Mirren tweeter. A Morton supporter responds by referring to St Mirren Park as the Methadome.

Morton: Stewart, Graham, Forsyth, Smyth, McCafferty, Rachirou, Di Giacomo, Tidser, McDonald, Campbell, O'Brien.

St.Mirren: Samson, van Zanten, Tesselaar, McGregor, Mair, Goodwin, Teale, Thomson, Thompson, McGowan, Hasselbaink.

Two goals by Thompson put the Buddies up 2 - 0 at HT.

Now Thomson without the P has scored. 3 - 0.

McGowan scores. 4 - 0. I think I see the way this match is playing out.

Weatherson for Morton! 4 - 1. Weatherson again! 4 - 2. FT. Why wasn't Weatherson on in the first half?

St Mirren win the Renfrewshire Cup for the sixth year running. Scotzine match report.

Top Canadian Album Covers, 1975 to 1987

1975. Night Vision, by Bruce Cockburn. Everybody loves Alex Colville's Horse and Train.

 

1976. Joy Will Find a Way, by Bruce Cockburn.

 

1977. Ian Tamblyn by Ian Tamblyn.

 

 

1978. Short Turn by Short Turn.

 

1979. Madcats by Madcats.

 

1980. Cigarettes, by The Wives.

 

1981. We Deliver, by Downchild Blues Band.

 

 

1982. Moving Pictures by Rush.

 

1983. Metal on Metal, by Anvil.

 

1984. Seamless, by The Nylons.

 

1985. Strange Animal, by Gowan.

 

1986. Power Windows, by Rush.

 

1987. Small Victories, by The Parachute Club.

The Canadian music industry began handing out Juno Awards in 1970, but 1975 was the first year there was a category for best sleeve art. Most of these designs are undeniably of their time (Ian Tamblyn's album is evocative of the beige civilization of Seventies Canada, and Seamless and Small Victories are so Eighties) but a couple could go straight onto a CD today: Joy Will Find A Way would work on any indie folk release, and Cigarettes is iconic enough for an iPad app. I don't know anything about Short Turn, and I don't think I want to know anything about Madcat, but the more I look at that Anvil cover, the more I have to concede, Anvil!

Asteroid Brisbane

Minor planet 5277 Brisbane is shown here against its namesake Brisbane, Queensland. (Brisbane Times.) The city of Brisbane is named after colonial administrator and astronomer SIr Thomas Brisbane, who was born near Largs, Scotland, a connection that recently drew Mark Rigby, curator of the Brisbane Planetarium, to Largs for an interview with the Wee Paper.

Morton Versus the Saddlers

Ricky Sbragia anticipates today's Morton-Walsall match.

A midweek friendly today at Cappielow between Morton and Walsall FC. In honour of which, here is a video clip of an ice cream van playing the Match of the Day theme.

Walsall are known as the Saddlers thanks to the town's long history of tacking up horses. Their badge carries the emblem of a swift, but they have not been called the Swifts for many years, even though that would be a much better nickname for a football club than the Saddlers, if you ask me. Walsall is located in the part of the English Midlands called the Black Country after its nineteenth-century coating of soot, which has probably been cleaned up by now, but which remains on the public image of the place. The Saddlers wear red and black, with neither stripe nor hoop. The Saddlers are on a mini tour of Scotland, training at the University of Stirling, with trips to Greenock for today's match and Gretna where they will play Gretna 2008 of the East of Scotland League.

Which club is more illustrious, Morton or Walsall? Is there an algorithm for comparing English clubs to Scottish clubs, or is it apples and oranges? Morton play in the Scottish First Division, and Walsall in England's League One, though each is a misnomer, the English one doubly so because League One is actually the third tier of English football, beneath the Premier League and the Championship. Morton have spent many years in the top Scottish division and have won the Scottish Cup. Walsall have never been in the top English division nor have they won the FA Cup, though they still talk about the time in 1933 when they knocked out Arsenal. Walsall is approximately four times more populous than Greenock, if that's any help. And it is commonly understood that there is more money in English football. Here's a possible test: Ricky Sbragia played for both clubs in the 1970s, making four appearances for Morton without scoring, and 77 for Walsall, scoring four goals. That might suggest that Morton had the harder lineup to break into ... 35 years ago. 

Perhaps we'd better just let today's result decide it.

Morton starters: Stewart, Graham, Forsyth, Smyth, McCaffrey, McGeough, Di Giacomo, Tidser, MacDonald, Jackson, O'Brien.

Walsall: Grof, Westlake, Sadler, Butler, Smith, Jarvis, Taundry, Paterson, Nicholls, Bowerman, Peterlin. The Saddlers have a player named Sadler.

608 spectators.

HT 0 - 0. Walsall goal at 64'. Another Walsall goal at 88'. Saddlers win. They are the more illustrious.

The Away End match report. Walsall Express and Star match report.

I'm going to try to learn the players this year. The summer's acquisitions have the fan base in an optimistic spirit, and the Morton manager has spoken of the top of the table. The next game is versus St Mirren Saturday for the Renfrewshire Cup.

Old Paint