The Morton journey to Recreation Park in Alloa, Clackmannanshire, to meet Alloa Athletic in the first round of the Scottish Communities League Cup today.
Last season this competition was known as the Co-operative Insurance Cup. You'll recall that Morton beat Stranraer in the first round before losing to St Johnstone in the second. Rangers eventually won the trophy.
This year the sponsorship has passed from the insurance industry to the Scottish government itself. The reason why the insurers don't have as much money to flash around right now may be the same reason why the government has more -- crime. Holyrood is funding the competition with a million pounds seized from wrongdoers under the Proceeds of Crime Act. So at last the two sustaining plotlines of the Greenock Telegraph -- lawlessness and footie -- combine into a single senseless horror thrill drama.
Alloa Athletic, or The Wasps, dress in a yellow and black hooped jersey, with black shorts and socks. They have never won the League Cup, but did win the Challenge Cup in the year 2000. They have just been relegated to the Third Division, so you'd think this would be an easy win for Morton. But is it ever? Morton and Alloa last met regularly in 2007 when both played in the Second Division. Historically, which is more illustrious? Morton is more illustrious.
The motto for Clackmannanshire is Look Aboot Ye, sage advice at any time, and the Latin version Circumspice marks the inhabitants of Clackmannan as well-schooled and august. Unfortunately, a 2007 rebranding exercise saddled the tiny county with the barfy More Than You Imagine, which would make a good title for a greatest hits compilation, volume II, containing no actual hits. I notice that the University of Tennessee at Brownsville was also sold the motto More Than You Imagine in 2008, and that the government of South Africa nearly paid 470,000 rands for the brand this year before discovering it was already on someone else's cows. The moral: when approached by branding professionals, Look Aboot Ye.
From brands to tattoos: Sergio Agüero, late of Atlético Madrid, who has just signed with Manchester City, has this tattoo in Tengwar, or Elvish script, on his forearm, spelling his nickname Kun Agüero.
That bracelet, by the way, is made of mithril.
HT. Morton up 1 - 0 on a goal by Di Giacomo.
Jackson and Weatherson score. Morton win 3 - 0!
Slaughter of the week: Livingston 6, Arbroath 0. Upset of the week: Berwick 3, Partick 1.
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