The Dennis the Menace Red and Black Group:
FC Midtylland (Denmark)
NK Čelik Zenica (Bosnia)
Whitletts Victoria FC (Ayr)
Pohang Steelers (South Korea)
These four clubs wear the red and black hooped jersey, black shorts and red socks indicative of supreme football nastiness. But are they alone in the world? What of the Central and South Asian Football Federation?
Uzbekistan? Nothing there. Turkmenistan? Too little information. Tajikistan? No. Kyrgyzstan? Unclear, though I did learn that Zhashtyk-Ak-Altyn Kara-Suu are the only club in the world to lose a cup final six years in a row.
Afghanistan. Maiwand Kabul FC wear a red and black stripped jersey, white shorts and black socks.
Pakistan. Nothing. Nepal. Friends Club are red and black, but not in a stripy or hoopy way. Bhutan. Nothing. Bangladesh. Nothing. Maldives. Nothing. Sri Lanka. Nothing.
India. Shillong Lajong FC wear a red jersey and black socks and shorts. Shillong, with its rolling hills, is billed as "The Scotland of the East".
Okay. What about the West Asian Football Federation?
Iran. FC Aboomoslem wear a red an black striped jersey, white shorts and red socks.
Iraq. Al-Jaish wear red and black with neither stripe nor hoop.
Kuwait. Nothing. Jordan. Nothing. Syria. Al-Jaish Damascus wear red and black stripes, black shorts and black socks. I believe Jaish means Army. Don't think I'll be supporting that club. Lebanon. Nothing. Palestine. Insufficient evidence.
Saudi Arabia. Oooo, so close. Al-Riyadh wear a red and black striped jersey, black shorts and red socks.
Bahrain. Nothing. Qatar. Al-Rayyan Sports Club are red and black. United Arab Emirates. Nothing.
Oman. Muscat FC sport red socks, black shorts and a red jersey with white details. Yemen. Nothing.
Onward: Confédération Africaine de Football.
Egypt. Haras El-Hodood Club are red and black. Libya. Nothing. Tunisia. AS Gabès are black and red. Jendouba Sport: red socks, black shorts and red and black striped jersey. Algeria. Union Sportive Médina d'Alger and Association Sportive Aïn M'lila are both red and black. Morocco. SCC Mohammédia: Red socks, black shorts, black and red stripes. Western Sahara. Insufficient data.
Mauritania. Nothing. Mali. Nothing, but AS Onze Créateurs de Niaréla is a great name. Niger. Nothing.
Senegal. Nothing. Gambia. Nothing. Cape Verde. Grupo Desportivo Varandinha are red and black. Guinea-Bissau. Nothing. Guinea. Too little information. Sierra Leone. East End Lions FC are black and red. Liberia. Nothing. Ivory Coast. Issia Wazi FC are red and black. Burkina Faso. Nothing. Ghana. Nothing.
Togo. AS Douanes of Lomé wear a red jersey with a broad black band across the chest, black shorts and white socks. Benin. AS Dragons FC de l'Ouémé: black shorts and socks, red jersey with black trim. Nigeria. Spotlight FC: black jersey with red sleeves, black shorts, red socks.
Chad. Nothing. Central African Republic. Insufficient data. Cameroon. Nothing. São Tomé and Principe. Insufficient data. Equatorial Guinea. Here's a new word: Equatoguinean. Vegetarianos Fútbol Club, strangely, do not wear green. Gabon. Nothing. Congo. Nothing. Democratic Republic of the Congo. Insufficient data. The Wikipedia articles on many of these countries are just plain stubby.
Sudan. Nothing. South Sudan. Not up and running yet. Ethiopia. Ethiopian Electric Power Corporation Football Club is red and black. Eritrea. Nothing. Djibouti. Insufficient information. Somalia. Nothing. Kenya. Nothing. Uganda. Nothing. Rwanda. Nothing. Burundi. Nothing. Tanzania. Nothing. Zanzibar. Nothing.
Réunion. Nothing. Mauritius. Fire Brigade FC wear black socks and shorts and a red and black striped jersey. Seychelles. Nothing. Madagascar. Way insufficient data. Comoros. Similarly way insufficient data. Mozambique. Nothing. Malawi. Nothing. Zambia. Power Dymanos FC: red socks, black shorts, black and red striped jersey. Red Arrows FC: black shorts and socks, red and black striped jersey. Ditto Zanaco FC.
Zimbabwe. Nothing. Swaziland. Nothing. Lesotho. Insufficient. South Africa. Nothing! Botswana. Nothing. Namibia. Black Africa FC, aka The Lively Lions, wear black socks, red shorts, and a black and red striped jersey. Angola. CD Primeiro de Agosto disport themselves in black socks and shorts and a black and red striped jersey.