Plenty of Nothing

Cow Birth

Whenever we're in Toronto we like to get to the Egyptology section of the Royal Ontario Museum and have a look at this unusually true to life carving from the Middle Kingdom.

Roman Greenock

Greenock is a seaport, and perhaps nothing illustrates the way the town has kept its face to the sea better than the survival of a Roman site on the hilltop just two miles inland. The Lurg Moor Fortlet was built in the second century to mind the western flank of the Antonine Wall, and since that time about the only other construction has been the installation of the pylons for the nearby power corridor. If you line up that ship in the harbour with the forested peninsula on the opposite shore you'll realize that this site is behind the eastern part of Greenock, in fact directly uphill from Cappielow Park ... where this afternoon Morton play Queen of the South.

Queen of the South currently sit last in the First Division table, with an away record of one win, one draw, and five losses. This is the kind of game Morton have to win if they want to take a run at first-place Ross County. QoS will be well-rested, however, because they had a bye through the third round of the Scottish Cup, on account of finishing fourth in the division last year, and consequently didn't play last weekend, not even a friendly.

Speaking of antiquity, when did Morton last play Rangers? My researches suggest it was February 19, 2000, in Round Four of that year's Scottish Cup. Eleven years? That seems morally wrong. Falkirk manager Steven Pressley would like to see a 20-team SPL. Morton should be able to qualify for that, and if they did they'd meet Rangers twice yearly. Where's the petition? I'll sign it.

It was around this time last year that the Scottish football season began to go off the rails. There was the referees' strike and, on top of that, snow. This year has been comparatively trouble-free, schedule-wise if not bank-balance-wise, and this weekend sees only the first First Division postponement of the season. Partick are hosting Junior side Culter in a Scottish Cup third round replay, so their league game at Ayr is deferred until Wednesday.

It's confirmed: Fouad Bachirou's toe is broken.

Today is also the third round of Scottish Junior Cup. Largs Thistle play Lesmahagow. Read all about it in the Wee Paper. Auchinleck Talbot, who are still alive in the Scottish Cup proper, play Penicuik Athletic. Culter, though they're still in the Scottish Cup, are out of the Scottish Junior Cup, having lost to Kelty Hearts in the second round. 164 clubs participate in the Scottish Junior Cup competition. I will never learn all their names. Greenock Juniors play Bellshill. Port Glasgow Juniors are already out. Greenock and Port Glasgow currently groundshare at Battery Park, near Gourock, in the neighbourhood called Fort Matilda, after a former outpost of the British Empire in west Greenock. Fort Matilda is where they make Buchanan's Toffees, a sponsor of Greenock Morton. It all ties together.

[Morton 2, Queen of the South 2. Morton goals by Jackson and Weatherson. The Ton remain in fifth place pending Wednesday's Partick/Ayr game. Ross County now hold first with a nine point cushion. Dundee are third. Weren't they just in last place? Largs win. Auchinleck Talbot win. Greenock Juniors' game was postponed due to rain and sleet, as were many other Junior Cup fixtures. Partick 4, Culter 0.]

Mailros

There was a head of a family living in the area of Northumberland known as Cunningham, who led a devout life with all his household. He fell ill, his condition steadily deteriorating until the crisis came, and he died in the early hours of the night. But at daybreak he returned to life and suddenly sat up to the great consternation of those weeping around the body, who ran away; only his wife, who loved him more dearly, remained with him. The man reassured her, and said: 'Do not be frightened, for I have truly risen from the grasp of death, and I am allowed to live among men again. But henceforward I must not live as I used to, and must adopt a very different way of life.' Then he rose and went off to the church in the town, where he continued in prayer until daybreak. He then divided all his property into three parts, one of which he allotted to his wife, another to his sons, and the third he retained and distributed at once to the poor. Not long afterwards, he abandoned all worldly responsibilities and entered the monastery of Melrose, which is almost completely surrounded by a bend in the river Tweed. (Bede's A History of the English Church and People, Book V, chapter 12. Translation by Leo Sherley-Price.)

Melrose Abbey is one of the most famous and significant medieval sites in Scotland. That's its location on the left above, under the red pushpin, and you can get a better view of it here. But Melrose Abbey didn't exist anytime near 700 A.D. when Drycthelm's near-death experience occurred, nor is it almost completely surrounded by a bend in the river Tweed. But if you look to the right of the map...

That's the place. According to the Melrose Historical Society Bulletin, the estate on this peninsula is the site of the original Melrose, or Mailros, monastery founded by King Oswald in 635 and destroyed by the Scottish king Kenneth MacAlpin in 859. To my knowledge Time Team have never done this dig, but if they do I hope they can clear up one thing for me. Was Cunningham, Ayrshire, ever really part of the Kingdom of Northumbria? D

The Antonine Wall

After many critical and hard-fought battles, he decided to separate that portion of the island under his control from the remaining unconquered peoples, and he did this not with a wall, as some imagine, but with an earthwork. For a wall is built of stone, but an earthwork, such as protects a camp from enemy attack, is constructed with sods cut from the earth and raised high above ground level, fronted by the ditch from which the sods were cut, and surmounted by a strong palisade of logs. Severus built a rampart and ditch of this type from sea to sea, and fortified it by a series of towers.  (Bede, A History of the English Church and People, Penguin translation by Leo Sherley-Price).

The Antonine Wall, lesser known cousin of Hadrian's actual Wall built of stone, runs through central Scotland, roughly parallel to the course of the Forth and Clyde Canal. It has recently been designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Because it was built in what turned out to be the most heavily populated strip of the country, not much of it remains, but you can see some of it along with the appropriately named Rough Castle about two miles west of Falkirk. Falkirk, along with Bo'ness, Larbert, Denny, and Strathblane all rest on the unconquered side of the ditch. Linlithgow, Bathgate, Kirkintilloch, and Bearsden reside on the civilized side, and consequently are just that much more genteel.

The Aylesford Bucket

This bronze bucket, with its attendant jug and pan, was found in an Iron Age burial in Ayleford, Kent, and dates to about the time of Julius Caesar's invasion of Britain. The swirly design and human head motif are distinctively Celtic. Compare the Battersea Shield.

The Keldby Bucket

Featured on the new Danish 500 kroner note is the Keldby Bucket. The bronze vessel was ploughed out of a field around 1826 and dates to about 300 BC, and was probably made in the Greek world. Each of the new series of Danish banknotes features an archaeological artifact.

The Leiden Aratea

The Leiden Aratea is a Carolingian illuminated manuscript containing Germanicus' Latin version of Aratus' Greek poem Phaenomena, about the constellations. Pictured above are the seven Pleiades, as they might have appeared returning from the salon. The one covering her hair is probably Maia, the eldest and most modest sister. You can view the whole extant manuscript here, or just the pictures here. A creaky Loeb translation by G.R. Mair is here. D

Calgacus

I'm surprised this guy isn't more famous. He's the earliest inhabitant of Scotland to be named in a book, and the speech that Tacitus ascribes to him prior to the Battle of Mons Graupius in 83 A.D. is probably the definitive statement on resistance to empire:

"Whenever I consider why we are fighting and how we have reached this crisis, I have a strong sense that this day of your splendid rally may mean the dawn of liberty for the whole of Britain. You have mustered to a man, and to a man you are free. There are no lands behind us, and even the sea is menaced by the Roman fleet. The clash of battle -- the hero's glory -- has become the safest refuge for the coward. Battles against Rome have been lost and won before -- but never without hope; we were always there in reserve. We, the choice flower of Britain, were treasured in her most secret places. Out of sight of subject shores, we kept even our eyes free from the defilement of tyranny. We, the last men on earth, the last of the free, have been shielded to-day by the very remoteness and the seclusion for which we are famed. We have enjoyed the impressiveness of the unknown. But to-day the boundary of Britain is exposed; beyond us lies no nation, nothing but waves and rocks and the Romans, more deadly still than they, for you find in them an arrogance which no reasonable submission can elude. Brigands of the world, they have exhausted the land by their indiscriminate plunder, and now they ransack the sea. The wealth of an enemy excites their cupidity, his poverty their lust of power. East and West have failed to glut their maw. They are unique in being as violently tempted to attack the poor as the wealthy. Robbery, butchery, rapine, the liars call Empire; they create a desolation and call it peace."  (Penguin translation by H. Mattingly.)

Pullo and Vorenus

Fans of the HBO series Rome could be forgiven if they thought that the two central characters Pullo and Vorenus were entirely made up. For a couple of nobodies they certainly get into the midst of every political development of the first century BC, like the protagonists of a Walter Scott novel. But there were two centurions of the 11th Legion named Pullo and Vorenus, who appear in Book 5, chapter 44 of Caesar's Gallic Wars, where they are the same inseparable rivals seen on TV:

In the legion were two very brave centurions named Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus, both of them nearly qualified for the first grade. They were always disputing which was the better soldier, and every year the competition for promotion set them quarrelling. When the fighting at the entrenchment was at its height, Pullo cried, "Why hesitate, Vorenus? What better opportunity do you want to prove your courage? To-day shall decide between us." With these words he advanced outside the fortification, and rushed into the thickest place he could see in the enemy's line. This brought Vorenus too over the rampart, hastening after his rival for fear of what everyone would think if he lagged behind. Pullo stopped a short way from the Gauls, hurled his spear, and transfixed one of them who was running forward from the ranks. The man fainted from the wound, and his comrades covered him with their shields, at the same time showering missiles upon Pullo and preventing him from advancing farther. His shield was pierced by a javelin, which stuck in his sword-belt; and as the blow knocked his scabbard out of place, he could not get his hand quickly to his sword when he tried to draw it, and was surrounded by the enemy while unable to defend himself. His rival Vorenus ran up to rescue him in his distress, and all the Gauls immediately left Pullo, who they thought had been mortally wounded by the javelin, and turned upon Vorenus. Vorenus drew his sword, and fighting hand to hand killed one of his assailants and drove the rest back a little; but pressing on too eagerly he stumbled down a steep slope and fell. It was now his turn to be surrounded, but Pullo came to his aid; both of them escaped unhurt, and after killing a number of the enemy returned to camp covered with glory. Thus Fortune played with them in their struggle for pre-eminence: bitter rivals though they were, each helped and saved the other, so that it could not be decided which was the more deserving of the prize of valour. (Penguin translation by S.A. Handford.)

Newly Discovered Petroglyphs Prove

... that the ancient Brazilians were happy. (Source.)