Synopsis: we are searching the world for soccer teams that dress like the Beano's Dennis the Menace. Three have been found so far: FC Midtjylland in Denmark, NK Čelik Zenica in Bosnia, and plucky Whitletts Victoria FC of Ayr. Today, the East Asian Football Federation.
China. Not many stripes or hoops at all. Shenzhen Ruby FC wear blue and white.
Hong Kong. The British connection has left Hong Kong with an active football scene, but no team that presents a Menacing aspect. Honk Kong FC was founded in 1886 and is obviously dripping with money.
Macao. Hoi Fan wear a red jersey and black shorts and socks.
Taiwan. Nothing.
Northern Mariana Islands. Nothing. Palau. Nothing. Guam. Nothing.
Mongolia. Argh. There's very little information on the Mongolian Premier League on the internet.
North Korea. Imagine trying to follow your favourite North Korean team online.
South Korea. FC Seoul wear red socks, black shorts, and a red and black striped jersey. But there are gold squiggles all over the design. Gyeongnam FC have black socks and shorts and a red jersey with black details. They are nicknamed The Kindergarten.
Pohang Steelers!

Dennis the Menace Group! Yes!
Steelers are a pretty successful club too. They've won the South Korean championship four times, the KFA Cup twice and the league cup twice. Excellent.
Japan. Consadole Sapporo: red socks, black shorts, red and black striped jersey. Many Japanese clubs go out of their way to try to give themselves a European ambience by incorporating Spanish, French, English, German or Italian words into their nomenclature. Yet somehow none of those hybrid names seems as outlandish as Real Salt Lake. Arte Takasaki wear red socks, black shorts, red jersey. Ditto Zweigen Kanazawa.