Plenty of Nothing

Hideki Matsui

New York Times photo

Renfrewshire Balance

In Scottish football there are two clubs, Celtic and Rangers, and then everybody else.  Celtic have won the Scottish Cup 34 times, Rangers 33 times, and everybody else 56 times combined.  The Renfrewshire Cup, played annually for soccer supremacy of Renfrewshire, Scotland, is a micro version of Scottish football. As of July 28, 2009, when St Mirren of Paisley beat Greenock Morton 2-1, the cup has gone to the Saints 51 times, the Ton 51 times, and everybody else combined only 15 times.

Tranquility Base As A Baseball Diamond

It's Apollo 11 Week at Plenty of Nothing.  Here we have a US Geological Survey map comparing of the Tranquility Base landing site to a baseball diamond.  As you can see, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin pretty much stuck to the infield, except for that one ramble into centre field by Armstrong.  In addition to the first walk by humans on the moon, 1969 saw the Mets win.  Source: Talcott Mountain Science Centre.

AIDS Ads

I stumbled upon these two AIDS awareness ads while googling for Swiss hockey pictures.  The top one puts the case for protected sex as well as can be imagined.  You just wouldn't play hockey naked.  The abrasions alone!  The bottom one, though, makes naked fencing look such fun that it could start a trend.  I wonder if there's still time to get it into the Beijing Olympics?  Douglas

Ladies Scottish Climbing Club

My brain must have been installed backward because I still don't get why men are so much more interested in men's athletics than in women's athletics.  I mean, from a spectator-sport -as-mating-ritual point of view, wouldn't it make more sense, for the heterosexual team anyway, for men to prefer to watch women, and women men?  Women who go to NHL games can be pretty up front about liking the players as much as the game.  That's where all the hockey wives come from.  But you don't get men going to women's games in the spirit of outright admiration, at least not that they'll talk about.  Maybe men identify so heavily with the male players that they naturally assume that they could pull off the same plays.  And then they'll see a female game and think, 'The men' --and by extension 'I'-- 'could do way better than that.'  The level of play in a women's league might be 90% of that in a men's league, but it's still about 1000% better than Joe Spectator's game.  So my point is that you fellows should go out a women's event, leave the superior attitude in the car, and keep an eye open for incredible feats, because that's what you'll see.  Women have been engaged in organized sports for over a century, and doing amazing things from the beginning.  As an example of which I submit this photo of the Ladies Scottish Climbing Club, taken in 1908.   (And stolen by me from www.johngill.net.)  Douglas

Pull Over, NASCAR!

Rocket Racing League!  Yee-haw!!!

The Thinking Fan's Guide to Baseball, by Leonard Koppett

I meant to have this finished in time for the season opener; now the playoffs are on.  Baseball is sure not a huge part of my mental calendar.  I must go years without paying it any mind at all, as I think of Detroit and Pittsburgh as teams that sometimes win the World Series, which would put us in the '70s or '80s (though Detroit are still in contention as I write.)

The Thinking Fan's Guide to Baseball isn't making me repent my misspent summers, but it does have me wondering, "Do pitchers really get hit more often than batters?"  Now I'm going to have to watch, and take notes, and maybe compile some stats.

I've been thinking about what I like about Koppett's prose style, and there are a couple of things.  He has a great ability to describe action, which shouldn't be surprising considering that he's a sports writer.  But far too many sports hacks rely on hyperbole and metaphor when what they should be using is that big workbench of sharp tools called verbs.  Take this paragraph:

A pitcher actually tries to accomplish two things.  He wants to upset the batter's timing, so that he can't hit the ball squarely.  And, according to the game situation, he wants to induce the batter to hit either a fly ball or a grounder.

Accomplish, upset, hit, induce.

The other thing is that he talks sense.

Complaining about expansion is about as fruitful as yearning for the nineteenth century.  You have every right to wish for whatever you consider the Good Old Days, but they're not coming back.

I find that the most entertaining bloggers have this latter characteristic.  But it only comes across as naked assertion if unaccompanied by thoughtful example, some neat stats, and an interesting link.  Which just goes to show that a good blog is like a good sports page.  Brush up your Koppett, and they'll all kowtow.

Douglas

Skellefteå AIK

Another hockey season is upon us, and as part of an ongoing project to avoid being a consumer for the NHL to deliver to its sponsors I've decided to follow the fortunes of Skellefteå AIK, newly promoted to the Swedish Elitserien.  I know practically zero about this team, its history, location, roster or prospects for the coming season, or even how to type an "a" with that little circle above it, but to live is to learn, so let's go.  I plan to write a weekly bit about them.  Hopefully by the end of the season I'll be able to recite the player names and remember what the word "ungdom" is supposed to mean.

To begin.  The Elitserien is the top tier of hockey in Sweden and has twelve teams.  Like most European team sports Swedish hockey practices relegation, meaning that at the end of the season the bottom two teams in the Elitserien have to play a tournament with the top teams of the next tier down, the Allsvenskan, to see which two will be in the top tier next year.  This process creates a fair amount of churn, and only seven teams have consistently stayed in the Elitserien this past decade: Färjestad, Djurgården, MODO, HV71, Frölunda, Luleå and Brynäs.  Skellefteå has not been in the top rank for a long time.  The Elitserien plays a 50-game schedule, after which the top eight teams go into the playoffs, the bottom two into the relegation tournament, and numbers nine and team go golfing.  The comparatively easy schedule allows teams to play in nonleague tournaments.  Four Swedish teams just faced four Finnish teams for something called the Nordic Trophy.  I'll find out who won.

[Färjestad won.  See here.]  [I figured out the circles and dots.]  ["Ungdom" means "youth."]

Skellefteå's colours are black and yellow, and their uniform has a 1940s look, with stripes on the shoulders, a bit like the Chicoutimi Sagueneens.

Ottawa Lynx vs Buffalo Bisons, August 16, 2006

We went to the baseball game last night.  You know those people who decide the game is over at the seventh inning stretch and leave?  That's us!  Buffalo's Slocum was working on a no hitter, reason enough to stay, but after we left the reliever came in and lost them the game.  The stentorian fans in one of the luxury boxes rode the Buffalo players so long and loud that I'm pretty sure I'll never forget the names Dubois, Gautreau or Van Every.

Douglas