Plenty of Nothing

DDR Museum

 

If in Berlin, don't hesitate to visit the DDR Museum. Dedicated to recreating the history and culture of the late German Democratic Republic, it might also be the institution most enthusiastically preserving the material culture of the 1970s.

Genshiken Bench

Kio Shimoku's Genshiken takes place at the fictional Shiioh University, but relies so heavily on the Tama campus of Tokyo's Chuo University for visual reference that you might as well just come out and say it's set there. Like Shiioh, Chuo is up in the hills to the west the city, on a monorail line, near a zoo. As Kasukabe observes in chapter 2, "The school is only 20 minutes from Shinjuku but it totally feels like it's in the middle of nowhere."

Building 4 on the map is the Club and Circle Building. It's four storeys high, with a central courtyard having U-shaped ends.

From chapter 23 (remembering to read from right to left):

The Genshiken room (304) is across from the second floor Manga Club room, from which Ogiue hurls herself (above), and also the fourth floor Children's Literature Club room, where the elder Gensiken members gather to stage their newbie ambushes.

Shimoku's reliance on actual Chuo topography extends to furniture. The bench in the top photo appears in many volumes, often as a refuge for club members unwilling to enter the club room. The most recent chapter (67) shows Kuchiki steeling himself there for the chapter's punchline.

Other club members to retreat there: Kasukabe (chapter 13):

Sasahara (chapter 52):

[Update: Keiko, Hato and Sue in chapters 80 and 81:]

[And from the anime:]

A full set of Club and Circle Building photos, dated 2005, can be seen here.

The Sheik of Araby

Leon Redbone, "The Sheik of Araby". Paul Asaro in the role of Fats Waller.

Sepia

Tweedle Dun and Tweedle Dee

Dundee famously has two football clubs across the road from one another, Dundee (the dark blue one) and Dundee United (the tangerine one). But which is more illustrious, Dundee or Dundee United?

Scottish Cup: Dundee 1, Dundee United 2. Tangerine.

Scottish League Cup: Dundee 3, Dundee United 2. Dark Blue.

Scottish Challenge Cup: Dundee 2, Dundee United 0. Dark Blue.

League champion: Dundee 1, Dundee United 1.

Europe: Dundee was European Cup semi-finalist in 1962-63. Dundee United was UEFA Cup finalist in 1986-87. Tangerine.

Forfarshire Cup: Dundee 27, Dundee United 21. Dark Blue.

Years in the top division: Dundee 86, Dundee United 55. Dark Blue.

Dundee is more illustrious than Dundee United by a score of four-and-a-half to two-and-a-half.

Dundee host the Morton today at Dens Park, across the road from Tannadice Park.

(For all your soccer stadium picture needs, see here.)

[Morton win, 1 - 0 on an early goal by MacDonald. The Ton have played four league matches without a loss and sit in second place!]

The Annotated Door Repair Guy, episode 3

The Cuniculi Syndrome

 

Last time on Star Trek: Door Repair Guy:

 

     "Why do you think he did it, Jean-Luc?"

     "I don't know, Beverly."

     "Stop!  Freeze!  Right there!  Now that's yaw!  Do you see

that yaw?  Computer: superimpose line figure standing

perpendicular to the floor, and display angle of divergence."

     "My God, seventeen degrees."

     "Cmdr. Riker is unbalanced."

 

     "Is it the Battle Section, Ensign?"

     *No, sir.  It's a Borg ship*

 

     "I am dispatching an away team to the Borg ship.  My next

decisions will depend heavily on their assessment."

     "Ugh!"

     "Woof!"

     "Pyuu!"

 

     "We could kill them.  We could set them adrift, which would

have the same result.  We could try to find a way to return them

to what they were . . . or we could join them."

     "Be assimilated?"

     "No, Captain.  Confederation."

 

     "Cmdr. Riker, I arrest you in name of the Starfleet

Command!"

     "WORMHOLE!"

 

And now this week's episode.

 

     "Deal!"

     "Counsellor -- darling -- I have barely begun to shuffle the

deck."

     "Come on, cut the cards before I get out that . . . big old

sleigh runner you have hangin on the wall and cut them for ya!"

     Worf deals.  The two new six-year-old characters from "The

Pilot, Part One" dodge around the table, stealing handfuls of

salty snacks.

     Doctor Crusher gathers up her cards, arranges them in a fan,

and examines them uneasily.

     "I'm experiencing the strangest feeling of deja vu.  Do you

think we can have fallen into another time loop?"

     "That's what you always say!  It's Worfy!  He dealt the same

cards.  Ante up!"

     The Doctor folds.

     Lieutenant Barclay, holding his hand directly in front of

his face, squints and opens his mouth to call for two cards, then

reconsiders, chews his lip and comes close to calling for three,

stops himself just in time, agonizes a while, and finally, with a

defeated look on his face, folds.

     "And I fold.  You win again, Counsellor."

     The Door Repair Guy, who has been circling the table, comes

up behind Troi and whispers a wicked joke in her ear.  She bursts

out laughing and begins to rake in her winnings, laughing and

laughing and laughing.

 

     "Crawlspace: the final frontier.  These are the voyages of

the Door Repair Guy.  His mission: to install and maintain

proximity-activated entranceways, to stake out new rooms and new

service conduits -- to boldly go where no one with a pass key has

gone before."

 

     [Music]

 

                    Star Trek: Door Repair Guy

 

     Whoosh! (the Battle Section)

 

                         Starring 

 

                         Door Repair Guy

                         as Himself

 

     Whoosh! (the Saucer Section mounted on a Borg Cube)

 

                         Also Starring

 

                         Patrick Stewart

                    as Captain Jean-Luc Picard

 

     Whoosh! (Battle Section again)

 

                         Jonathan Frakes

                    as Cmdr. William Riker

 

                         Michael Dorn

                         as Lt. Worf

 

                         LeVar Burton

                    as Lt. Cmdr. Geordi LaForge

 

                         Gates McFadden

                    as Doctor Beverly Crusher

 

                         Roseanne Arnold

                    as Counsellor Deanna Troi

 

                         Brent Spiner

                         as Lt. Cmdr. Data

 

                         and Dwight Schultz

                    as Lieutenant Barclay

 

     Saucer Section looms into view, giving a good look at the

array of tractor beams joining it to the Borg Cube, which looms

into view just as the French horns are playing.  The two warp off

in a burst.

 

[Commercial:

     The friendly folk at Red Planet Terraforming would like to

wish you and yours a very happy holiday.  Come visit our showroom

and see all the latest in recreational sandblasting and sub-zero

lawn care.  Or visit our new location in the Pembroke Mall.]

 

     Blackness, relieved by only the tiny, shimmering lights of

distant galaxies.  There is a sudden smack of thunder, a

brilliant flash of light, and an enormous blue and orange cloud

appears, corkscrewing open into a tremendous aperture, from which

the Battle Section of the Enterprise tumbles.  As suddenly as it

appeared the aperture collapses on itself and vanishes into a

point of light and then nothing.  The Battle Section rolls slowly

past our point of view.

     On the battle bridge it's pandaemonium.  The lights are out,

except for glowing computer panels and flashing red alert signs. 

A klaxon honks frantically.  Crewmembers cling to chair arms,

railings and consoles, painfully pulling themselves from the

floor the time-honoured Starfleet way.  Geordi staggers into the

middle of the shot with his hand on his head.

     "Computer!  Restore lighting!  Cancel red alert!"

     The lights come on.  Bruised crewmembers pull each other to

their feet, clutching onto computer consoles and trying to

interpret the information scrolling across the monitors.

     "Helm!  Where are we?"

     An engineer slips into the chair and reports: "Computer

cannot get a fix.  There are no recognizable stars or

navigational beacons."

     "Do we have power?"

     "Engines are off line but not down.  Restoring power now."

     "How about other systems?"

     "Other nonessential systems are also off line but returning

to service now."

     A voice comes from the corner.

     "Get this android off of me!"

     Riker is lying spread-eagle on his back, with Data slumped

across his middle.

     Geordi: "Data, are you all right?"

     Data, speaking toward the floor: "Perfectly, Geordi.  I am

merely executing emergency wormhole arrest protocol Data One.  I

am slumping over Cmdr. Riker to ensure he does not escape in the

confusion of the moment."

     Geordi looks around the battle bridge, rubbing his chin

thoughtfully.

     "Yeah.  That must be what happened.  When we unexpected went

into the wormhole the computer turned off all unnecessary

systems, and we just sort of tumbled through like a limp body!" 

     "Sir, computer reports no major damage.  All systems

normal."

     "That's a relief.  Data, suspend emergency wormhole arrest

protocol!"

     Data stands up.

     "Commander Riker, I arrest you in the name of Starfleet

Command and the United Federation of Planets.  Until such time as

a court martial can be convened you will remain in confinement

under armed guard.  You have the right to counsel.  You have the

right to remain silent.  Anything you say can and will be used

against you in a court of law.  Security, take him to the brig."

     Four burly security guards hustle Riker off the bridge.  On

his way out the door Riker twists around and shouts, "I did it

all for l-o-o-o-o-o-ve!"

     "Cmdr. Riker is deeply in love, is he not, Geordi?"

     "Yeah, Data.  That Deanna is some woman."

 

     Troi's office.  Deanna and Lt. Barclay are seated at the two

ends of the couch.  Barclay is explaining his insecurity about

his recent promotion to Acting Chief of Engineering, his anxiety

about the demands on his time and the loss of his private life,

his doubts about his ability to fill Geordi's shoes, his gnawing

suspicions that the Captain might be having second thoughts about

the promotion, and, as always, his ongoing inability to attract a

member of the opposite sex.  Troi is sitting there with an

incredulous look on her face.

     ". . . so then *he* says, `I *could* recalibrate this sensor

array the way you want, but I'll just have to set it back when

LaForge returns.'  And so I say . . ."

     "Wa-a-a-a-it a minute."

     "Y-yes, Counsellor?"

     "Have you ever thought of, ya know, like, just clockin him? 

Why not just lay into him for a change?  I mean, are you the boss

or what!?  Well, OK, *I'm* the boss, but I've got a hundred other

nerve cases to look after.  I can't be goin out and fightin

everybody else's turf war.  I'll tell you what.  You go down

there and tell this guy to fly straight or it's lights out.  And

if he doesn't like it he can go cryin to the Captain."

     Barclay tries to get his mind around this new advice.

     "So, if I don't get the respect I want, I simply . . .

resort to physical intimidation.  Lower the boom.  Knuckle

sandwich."

     "Now you're talkin!!"

     "Thank you, Counsellor."

     "Don't mention it.  Next!!"

 

[Commercial: 

     Connie, Jeff and Org at Barsoom Gamma-Welding would like to

extend to you and your family the warmest of holiday greetings.]

 

     Data and LaForge are having a conference on the battle

bridge.

     "How many people do we have on board, Data?"

     "Computer census registers 443 persons.  As would be

expected we have a large majority of the Enterprise's Engineering

Division.  On the other hand our share of the Medical Department

is extremely meagre.  We are well supplied with security guards,

but have no teachers, bartenders or door repair technicians.  One

hundred and twenty-eight individuals on board can pilot a

shuttlecraft, but no one, with the possible exception of Cmdr.

Riker, can cook an egg."

     "Do we have any children on board?"

     "No one under the legal drinking age."

     "And no Ten Forward.  Damn!  Have we figured out where we

are?"

     "We would appear to be in intergalactic space.  Sensors

indicate we are approximately one half million light years

outside the Milky Way Galaxy.  Gravimetric readings do suggest,

however, that we are within the gravitational sphere of our

galaxy and that we have already begun to spiral back toward it."

     "How long will that take?"

     "Three point two billion years."

     "Good thing we have warp drive."

     "Notwithstanding, it would be advisable to locate the

wormhole and determine whether it is stable enough to return us

to our own quadrant.  Under our own power, at an average velocity

of Warp 9, the journey back to the Milky Way would last

approximately 500 years."

     "So we'd better find that wormhole.  Helm, plot a course

back the way we came after leaving the wormhole."

     "I'll do my best, sir, but it's very difficult to get a

sense of direction out here without any stars."

     "I hadn't thought of that.  Well, double back along our ion

trail."

     "Engines were off when we exited the wormhole, sir.  We

didn't leave an ion trail."

     "Uh o-o-oh."

     "Are there no subgalactic formations to be seen at all,

helmsman?"

     "Checking.  Long range sensors identify a smudge which may

be a group of stars several hundred light years from here."

     "Make for that smudge, then."

     "Aye, aye, sir."

     "Geordi!"

     "What is it, Data?"

     "I wonder if they have remembered to feed my cat?"

 

     The Door Repair Guy comes along the corridor, muttering,

with a bowl of cat food in one hand.

     "Why do I always get the crummy jobs?  Feed the cat.  I, who

have rehinged the mighty gates of Herghngeng!"

     He stops outside of Data's quarters and keys in his door

repair technician override.  The door shooshes open and he

enters.

     "MMmRwwrRRRwweowWWW!!!!"

     He hits the opposite wall of the corridor.

     "Computer!  Emergency Lockout Code Door Repair One!"

     He catches a glimpse of Spot pouncing on the spilled cat

food.

     "The next time I'm beaming it in."

 

[Commercial:

     It's the Hottest Chili on Mars!  Rusty and Nanette want to

wish you and your family the happiest of holidays and invite you

to come down to the Uranium Chili Company, 3500 Bradbury

Boulevard.  Or try our new location in the Pembroke Mall!]

 

     Captain Picard is walking briskly along one of the curved

corridors of the Saucer Section.  Ahead he can hear the patter of

small feet, a cacophony of tiny bells, and lots of shrieking and

giggling.  In a moment he comes across a group of four people:

two children and a pair of Borg.

     "Whom have we here?" he demands.

     "That's Dweenie!"

     "It's short for Edwina!  And she's Clarabelle!  We're six!"

     "Would you please introduce me to your two friends, Edwina?"

     The two Borg straighten up and cast glances at one another,

uncertain about this human ritual.

     "This is Tulip," says Dweenie, taking one of them by the

hand.

     "And this is Chestnut," says Clarabelle, looking up at the

Borg with big brown eyes.

     "We named them."

     The two Borg have difficulty concealing their pleasure at

the sound of their new names.

     "Are you showing your Borg friends around?"

     "Yes!  We're teaching them all about everything!  What am I

playing?"

     Dweenie holds her bells up above her head and shakes them

rhythmically for what seems a long while.  Picard tries to pick

some melody from the racket.

     "I can't say."

     "Jingle Bells!"

     "What am I playing?"

     Clarabelle holds up an empty fist and shakes it in the air

for a while.

     "I'm completely at a loss."

     "Silent Night!"  Both girls laugh uproariously, then sprint

away, followed by the happy, embarrassed Borg.

 

     Shot of the Borgoprise falling out of warp.

     "Captain's Log, stardate 49581.2.  We have followed the

missing Battle Section's ion trail to these coordinates, far

beyond the previous limit of Federation-explored space, to find

that the trail comes to an abrupt end here.  Sensor sweeps reveal

no wreckage and no energy signature of the sort that would

indicate an explosion or failure of the antimatter containment

field.  The astrophysics lab is hard at work interpreting sensor

input that may serve to substantiate a idea that has been growing

in my mind."

     "Astrophysics reporting, Captain.  This entire region shows

extensive hydrogen eddying."

     "Have we seen this sort of thing before?"

     "Yes, we have.  It's a wormhole, sir.  And they went right

down its throat."

     "That's a mixed metaphor, Lieutenant."

     "Sorry, sir."

     "Mr Worf.  Prepare a series of Class One Sensor Probes. 

Fire them at intervals toward the last recorded location of the

Battle Section.  I want them programmed to do extensive

cartographic research on the far side of that wormhole and to

search out and reenter the wormhole once they have verified its

location.  We don't want to risk entering the wormhole until we

are sure that the other end is stable."

     "Very good, Captain.  Sir!  A Priority One transmission is

coming in from Starfleet Command."

     "Stand by on that Sensor Probe order.  I'll take the

transmission in my ready room."

     Swoosh goes the ready room door.  Picard slides into his

chair and activates his terminal.

     The Executive Producer appears on screen.  He says: "Picard,

are you crazy?  Each time you launch one of those probes we have

to show the wormhole!  You'll blow the special effects budget for

the next half season!"

     "Hm.  I appreciate your difficulty.  Perhaps you could just

show the first probe going in, and then *suggest* the others with

sound effects and shots of our astonished faces?"

     "No, no!  We already dropped a bundle to get Ms Arnold! 

Listen, Picard.  There's only going to be one more wormhole

effect this episode, and it'll be when you take the Enterprise

through!"

     "Really!  This is quite outrageous!"

     "I've got Diana Muldaur's agent on the other line."

     "Wait!  Stop!  Not that!  You win this round, Executive

Producer.  Just tell me one thing.  Is the other end of the

wormhole stable?"

     "Yes."

     "Perfectly stable?"

     "Reasonably stable.  Look, I gotta go.  Ross Perot wants to

be written in in the role of the Grand Nagus.  I'm doing lunch

with his private eye.  Ciao!"  The Starfleet Emblem comes up on

screen, with the caption `End of Transmission'.

     Picard sits back, draws a deep breath, then walks out onto

the Bridge.

     "Mr Worf, belay that sensor probe order.  Helm, take us into

the wormhole, one quarter impulse power."

     "Aye, aye, sir."

     Shot of the Borgoprise moving forward.  Suddenly the

wormhole blossoms and the ship disappears into it.  The wormhole

closes again.  Fadeout.

 

[Commercial:

     lalDan tay qoS Quch yIghaj 'e' luneH Krell loDnI'pu' je

lojmItHuSwI'pu'.  Pembroke MallDaq Quvchaj chu' yISuch. 

     (Krell and Brothers, Doorhangers, want you to have a happy

religion ritual birthday.  Visit their new location in the

Pembroke Mall.)]

 

[Bob:

     "We-e-l-l-l!  Here we are on location at the Pembroke Mall.

We're having a great time.  Hey, I have here with me six-year-old

Jason.  Say `Hi,' Jason."

     "Hi."

     "Jason's here Christmas shopping with his Mom.  Say `Hi,'

Mom."

     From off camera: "Hi."

     "Jason's brought along some really cool action figures from

the new Star Trek ah Door Repair Guy series.  Hold some of those

up, Jason.  There's Ross Perot as Data . . . and Buddy

Whassisname.  Authentic rubber boots and sou'wester there. 

Roseanne Arnold as Deanna Troi.  The Executive Producer. 

Sunglasses and everything.  Wow.  Kind of a Cardassian neck on

that guy.  Edwina and Clarabelle.  How soon before they're acting

ensigns, Jason?"

     "A couple weeks."

     "What else have you got there?  A couple of Borg

characters."

     "Tulip and Chestnut."

     "Hey!  That's right!  And there's Door Repair Guy himself. 

I hear he's up for an Emmy.  Who's this blonde goof?"

     "That's you!"

     "Oh."]

 

     The wormhole blossoms and disgorges the Borgoprise.  The

hybrid ship cruises by at one quarter impulse power.  The

wormhole closes up and disappears.  The Board of Directors at

Industrial Light and Magic all sit back and light up cigars.

     Picard leans toward the viewscreen, squinting.

     "Any sign of the Battle Section, Ensign?"

     "No indication, sir."

     "Can you tell where we are?"

     "Stellar Cartography is reporting now.  Captain!  We are 500

million light years beyond the edge of the galaxy."

     "Extraordinary!  What's that dim light in the corner of the

viewscreen?  Magnify."

     "Stars.  A single constellation out here in intergalactic

space!"

     "It looks like two bunnies!"

     Everyone turns to look at the speaker.  Edwina is standing

by the turbolift with a badminton racket in one hand and a wicker

basket full of red chili peppers in the other.

     "Who let that child on the bridge?"

     Edwina puts on her best affronted face and says, "I let

myself."  She departs via the turbolift.

     "It does look like two bunnies, sir."

     Picard, sensing he has lost the sympathy of the bridge,

calls a conference. 

 

     The brig.  Riker is sitting on his bed, improvising on the

trombone.  Beyond the security containment field a broad-

shouldered security guard stands with his chest stuck out and his

chin up, ready for anything.

     The door opens and a female security guard enters.  She

debriefs the male guard and then relieves him of his post.  The

door closes behind him.  She assumes a position to the side of

the containment field, next to the controls.  She stands with her

feet shoulder-width apart, hands clasped behind her back, phaser

on her hip, chin up, ready for anything.

     Riker finishes his solo and lays the trombone aside.  He

gets up, nonchalantly strolls over to the containment field, and

glances out.  He leans up against the cell wall, just about where

she is standing on the other side, and begins:

     "Did I ever tell you how much I admire strong women?"

 

[Commercial: Old Spice]

 

     The conference room.  Present around the table are: Picard,

Doctor Crusher, Lt. Worf, Counsellor Troi (played by Roseanne

Arnold), Barclay, an Extra, playing someone from Stellar

Cartography, and a Borg.

     The Extra is explaining: "We have mapped the star cluster

and run spectroscopic analyses on all the stellar masses, and

conducted a sensor inventory of all planetary bodies, moons and

asteroids above 1000 metres in diameter.  There are twenty-four

suns in the cluster, ranging from Alpha Cuniculi, a yellow giant,

down to Omega Cuniculi, a nearly extinct red dwarf."

     Picard, under his breath: "I knew Red Dwarf would get in

here somehow."

     "We have discovered four Class M planets: Epsilon Cuniculi

IV, Theta Cuniculi III, Pi Cuniculi III, and Tau Cuniculi VII. 

For convenience we have named these Flopsa, Mopsa, Cauda Linea,

and Petrus.  There is also an exceptionally dense, dark nebula

which we have named Dominus McGregor."

     "Aren't these all Greek and Latin versions of names from

Peter Rabbit?"

     The officers turn their moral disapproval toward the head of

the table.

     "That's right, Captain."

     Worf speaks up, with a glint in his eye: "Captain, will we

have the opportunity to peruse these worlds?"

     "Not in this episode, Mr Worf.  Our first priority is to re-

establish contact with the Battle Section."

     "Oh, I hope we get to explore those planets.  They must have

many useful things."

     Everyone looks askance at the Borg.

     "I mean, that we could . . . ah . . . photograph."  The Borg

slides down in its chair and begins to punch a button on its arm,

trying to activate a faulty personal cloaking device.

     Troi: "Don't sweat it, DJ.  You'll get to use your cutter

beam just as soon as Worfy here takes me out and then spends the

whole night at the piano bar again.  Klingon C&W!  Sa-a-a-y,

that's a great shiner you've got there, Broccoli!"

     Barclay smiles self-consciously, revealing a missing tooth.

     Picard senses that he's losing control of the conference.

     "People, we all know the writers only put in this conference

to separate the two Riker scenes.  Let's at least try to comport

ourselves as Starfleet Officers until . . ."

     Troi gives a dirty laugh.

     Worf: "Captain, we didn't see much of Door Repair Guy in

this episode."

     "That's all right.  The next one is almost entirely about

him."

     "MajQa'."

     They sit around, drumming their fingers on the table.  A

little beeper goes off and half of them are out of their chairs

before Picard can say, "Dismissed."  The last one to leave the

room is Doctor Crusher, who slaps the two arms of her chair as

she stands up and says: "No lines again!"

 

     A Security team bursts into the brig.  The containment field

is off.  On the floor lies a commbadge.  A security guard scoops

it up and taps it.

     "Computer, who am I?"

     "You are Cmdr. William T. Riker."

     On the bed in the containment cell lies the motionless shape

of a body covered with a blanket.  An arm and a braid of brunette

hair dangle over the side.

     "Oh my God," says a guard, stepping into the cell.  As he

hesitantly reaches for the edge of the blanket he hears a low

sound emanating from beneath it:

     "ZZZZZzzzZZzzzzzzzz."

     He taps his commbadge.  "Security to LaForge."

     *LaForge here*

     "It's Riker, sir.  He slept . . . slipped past the guard."

     *Where do you think he could be now?*

     The camera moves in as the security guard's gaze goes from

one side of the room, up over his head, and around to the other

side.

     "Anywhere, sir."

     [Dramatic music.]

 

--

Written by Douglas A. McLeod ([email protected])

--

Notes on The Cuniculi Syndrome.

What is the Cuniculi Syndrome? The tendency of astronomers to passive-aggressively name heavenly bodies after a mean thing someone did, just to make them feel bad? I really just wanted a title with the word "syndrome" in it.

Synthesis of ST:TNG poker scene and Roseanne opening credits.

This was my first opportunity to fix the line, "I wonder if they've remembered to feed my cat."

First intrusion of the executive producers into the story.

The Pembroke Mall. CHRO broadcast in Pembroke as well as Ottawa, and much of the advertising was aimed at the Pembroke market.

Action figures. For a while there it looked as if they were planning to make one for every minor character in ST:TNG. I had about 100 of them, which I passed along to my nephew. I am the best uncle.

Bunker

Renfrewshire Cup, Second Leg

Cartsdyke is the railway station of choice for those making an excursion to Cappielow Park.

Greenock Morton host St Mirren FC today in Round Two of the Scottish Communities League Cup, though get ready for a rematch of the Renfrewshire Cup, won in July by St Mirren for the sixth year in a row. Greenock's supporters should be extra obnoxious today.

This is the first match in this year's cup competitions where Morton face a superior team. If they are to win any silver this year they must knock off three or four of them. Morton are an improved team this year, but so are St Mirren. When did Morton and St Mirren last play in the same division? 1999-2000, in the First Division. Since them St Mirren have ascended to the Premier and Morton has dropped to the Third before rebounding to the First.

Morton have two players who were with St Mirren last season: Creag Little and Conor Ramsay.

[St Mirren win 4 - 3. Greenock goals by Tidser, MacDonald and Jackson. Morton is now out of the League Cup.]

Boys Keep Out

The Darvaza Gas Crater

The Darvaza Gas Crater in Turkmenistan is a sinkhole on top of a natural gas deposit. It was opened accidentally in 1971 during gas exploration, and set alight in the hope that the gas would be exhausted in a few days, but it has continued to burn ever since.  I've categorized this under Space because although it looks like something from another planet, it could only have happened on ours, with its oxygen, natural gas deposits, and meddlesome humans. Watch this French documentary to see how the local bird life has adapted. The photo comes from here. D