Morton travel down the coast for a visit to Ayr United Football Club today. In the delicately balanced First Division Ayr are very slightly the worst team, judging by goal difference anyway, so it's incumbent upon the men of Greenock to get in there and win today. The Ton are seven points below first place Ross County.
The Royal Burgh of Ayr is located at the mouth of the River Ayr, a phrase that would have inspired generations of Irish poets but which seems to have had no effect on the Scottish mentality. Wordplay is still officially a breach of the peace under Scottish law.
Quibbling, however, is taught in schools. For example: as it is at the mouth of the River Ayr, should not the name of the town be Inverayr? I am just saying.
Historical note: Ayr had a Cromwellian citadel. There's not much left of it now, but your can still see its footprint in this aerial view. Has Time Team done Ayr?
We have already established that over all Morton is the more illustrious club. But how do the two clubs compare in recent times? Since the creation of the new Third Division in 1994 (certainly a milestone in Scottish history) which club has finished higher, year by year? It goes like this: Ayr, Morton, Morton, Morton, Ayr, Ayr, Ayr, Ayr, Ayr, Ayr, Morton, Morton, Morton, Morton, Morton, Morton, Morton. Greenock 10, Honest Men 7.
Since the Scottish Challenge Cup competition began in 1990-91, how have the two clubs fared? Year by year, the honours go to: Ayr, Ayr, Morton, Ayr, equal, equal, Morton, Morton, no competition, Morton, Morton, Ayr, equal, Morton, equal, Morton, Morton, equal, Morton, Morton, Ayr, equal. Morton 10, Ayr 5.
Ayr beat the Accies last Saturday. Hamilton Academical, like Morton, have drifted down to mid-table since holding first place, which feeds my belief that as many as ten different clubs could rise to the top of the division before this season is done.
In contrast to their lacklustre league play, Ayr have been giant-killers in cup competition. They have beaten Premier League sides Inverness, Hearts and St Mirren. They are through to the League Cup semifinals, and will host Kilmarnock at the end of January. Falkirk host Celtic.
The UK clocks fall back an hour one week before the Nova Scotian ones do, so today's SFL games begin at noon here, instead of the usual 11:00 a.m.
Morton's newly signed midfielder Derek Young makes his debut today. While playing in Iceland he forgot that he had a one-game suspension hanging over him in Scotland. Last week's game counts as his day off. He was signed to fill the gap left when Michael Tidser's knee blew out. Tidser will not be back till Christmas.
Morton has also acquired Oklahoman goalie Dominic Cervi on loan from Celtic.
Ayr goalkeeper Kevin Cuthbertson is in an unusual conflict of interest. In his day job he works as a trainer at a Greenock gym where some of the Morton players are clients. In a Scotland where playing goal for Ayr paid real money this would never occur. In a Scotland where Beano narrative rules apply, he'd be putting itching powder in their equipment.
Ayr fans have been warned to stop throwing cash register rolls.
[Morton win, 1 - 0! Goal by David O'Brien. Greenock move up to fourth place.]
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