Finnish telecom giant Louhi has announced its intention to put a manufacturing plant in the Maritimes. Operating from a base in the converted 1940s offices of a food wholesaler on Lorne Street, the Finns have launched a divide-and-conquer campaign against the three provincial governments. New Brunswick, the early favourite, has offered a large industrial space in Moncton tax free for 99 years. Nova Scotia is rumoured to be preparing legislation to create a free trade zone around Amherst and slash the minimum wage in half. Prince Edward Island has offered free bridge passes, and is a little confused that this didn’t clinch the deal. The helicopters come and go.
Agnes and Dwayne are out walking.
Dwayne: “Kneeing.”
Agnes brushes her knee.
“Delayed penalty.”
She holds up her arm like a schoolchild.
“What’s this?” He makes a T.
“Time ou—no, unsportsmanlike conduct.”
“Can’t fool you.”
They come across a pair of Finns with a map.
Finn: “Excuse us, please, but where may the Lutherans worship?”
Dwayne: “Hey! Say ’Roll up the rim.’”
With some confusion: “Rrrrroll up the rrrrim.”
“You’ll do fine. Welcome to our country.”
Agnes gives Dwayne’s arm a backhand and provides directions. She whispers heatedly: “These people are bringing us jobs. Why do you have to treat everything like a joke?”
He shrugs. She plants her hands on her hips and makes an impatient sound.
Dwayne: “Misconduct, Dwayne Jones. Twenty minutes in the box."
This one slips by her for about half a block. Then she gasps and strikes him two or three times.
Jacinthe goes out to the town rink to watch Agnes make her officiating debut. It’s a pre-season exhibition match between the Amherst and Sackville girls’ high school teams. The two squads, as well as referee and linesman, are warming up on the just-Zambonied ice. Jacinthe doesn’t recognize the linesman until Agnes skates right up to her.
Jacinthe: “Hey! Agnes! It’s a whole new look! But I thought you were going to be the referee.”
Agnes shuffles her skated feet.
“Oh, there’s more to it than just passing an exam, you know. You have to log so many hours as a linesman. Then Mrs Estabrooks there” (indicating the ref) “has to approve you. I might not referee at all this season.”
“Well, there’s always injury.”
“You’re awful! Yes, I suppose if Mrs Estabrooks goes down it’s up to me, but not today I hope anyway. I still have a lot to learn!”
“I still can’t believe Dwayne got you to do this!”
“Oh, him. I don’t know. Listen. Jacinthe. I was thinking of going home this weekend. Do you want to come? I could show you around. I miss our talks.”
“We had talks?”
“Yes!”
“I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m going down to Halifax this weekend for the comic book convention.”
“Halifax!”
“Yeah!”
“Oh well. That’s your thing, I guess. You’ll be careful, won’t you?”
“Sure. Of what?”
“Oh, Jacinthe, Halifax isn’t like here. It’s full of bad sorts.”
“Like comic book collectors?”
“Joke if you like! We’re not talking about United Empire Loyalists. That city was founded by sailors and prostitutes! Dartmouth’s no different!”
While she’s expanding on this two opposing players pass each other behind her, glaring hatred at one another. They circle back sharply, shake off their gloves, grab each other by the jersey and start pounding. Agnes furrows her brow at the sudden burst of enthusiasm in the stands, glances over her shoulder, yelps, and scrambles toward the fight. Each combatant has the other’s shirt in her left hand and is connecting punches with her right. Agnes throws herself in their midst and begins to wedge them apart.
Player one: “He’s my boyfriend!”
Player two: “He’s mine!”
Agnes: “He’s not worth it!”
Eventually the two get tired and relent, and Agnes leads them by the sleeve to the penalty box. They take their seats on either side of the plexiglas, sneeze blood and exchange reproachful looks while their teammates skate in with lost equipment and commiserating words. Agnes skates close behind as Mrs Estabrooks makes her report to the timekeeper and both coaches. As they go by Jacinthe can tell Agnes is being told to keep her mind on the ice.
Dwayne: “Some friendly.”
Jacinthe: “Hey! I didn’t see you.”
“You hear that line about the boyfriend?”
“Uh huh. Why?”
“Oh. No reason. Forget it.”
Jacinthe glances from Dwayne to the skating Agnes and back again.
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