Plenty of Nothing

The Witness-Box

From the Glasgow Herald, July 31, 1936, page 12:

ACTION BY GREENOCK PROVOST

Woman Councillor's Denials: Collapse During Evidence

The hearing of evidence was resumed in Greenock Sheriff Court yesterday in the action by Provost J.W. Bell against Councillor Mrs Catherine McLeod for £150 damages for alleged slander. The parties are members of the Labour group of Greenock Corporation.

During the day evidence was given by the defender, who stated that she had never employed the words "dirty scum" and had never said that Provost Bell had been living off the backs of the workers.

Near the close of Mrs McLeod's cross-examination she collapsed on to the seat in the witness-box and burst into tears.

Through her sobs she declared that she had never uttered the statements imputed to her, and that she had tried without success to approach the Provost to explain to him that wicked men were trying to do harm to the Labour Party.

The evidence for the defender had not concluded when the Court rose, and the case was continued until October 19.

At the outset of the sitting Bailie Porter, for the pursuer, spoke to meeting Peter Swan, John Bain, and Joseph Heron in Cathcart Square. Swan told him that Mrs McLeod had come out of the Council Chamber and had referred to the Provost as a "dirty scum," and had also said that "he had lived on charity and on the backs of the workers ever since he went into the Council Chambers." Witness told the Provost, and later Bailie Lyall and he made certain endeavours to mediate between the Provost and Mrs McLeod.

MRS MCLEOD IN THE WITNESS-BOX

EXPENSES INCIDENT AT MEETING

This closed the case for pursuer, and evidence was led for the defender. After several witnesses had been heard Mrs McLeod entered the witness-box.

"I have never thought," she said, "that Provost Bell was using his office for his own private gain, and have never said so. I have never said anything implying it or inferring it."

Mrs McLeod went on to state that she had been a member of the Corporation for nearly 10 years, a magistrate for four years, and was at present convener of the Public Health Committee.

Questioned about a Finance Committee meeting on August 20, Mrs McLeod explained that she was late for the meeting. When she went in Mr Rooke, the Town Chamberlain, came over and said to her -- "Your accounts have been questioned, Mrs McLeod." She asked by whom, and the Chamberlain replied -- "You had better ask."

The Provost was speaking about something else at the time, and when he had finished she said -- "I understand my expenses have been questioned." The Provost just waved his hand aside and said -- "See the Chamberlain about it."

Mr McCalman (agent for defender) -- At that stage were you annoyed to think that your expenses had been questioned? -- No. I would not have minded any member questioning my expenses, but I did object to the supposed leader of my group raising the question in public. It would have been an easy matter for the Provost to have spoken about it at a Labour group meeting.

"NOT ALLOWED WORD OF EXPLANATION"

When Mr Rooke told her that her expenses had been questioned, she wanted to explain how the matter arose, because she knew that she was leaving for Portugal on the Friday. The Provost would not allow her a word of explanation.

He said -- "You have charged a day extra." She said that her expenses were out-of-pocket expenses. She only laid down the receipts and said to Mr Rooke -- "I have spent more than you have given me."

Mr McCalman -- It has been suggested, only by the Provost, I think, that you threw the papers in Mr Rooke's face? -- I have known Mr Rooke too long and the officials too well to do anything of the kind. It is quite untrue.

I think at a later date you came back to adjust the matter with Mr Rooke? -- Yes, as I was leaving on Friday for Portugal I said to my husband -- "I had better go down and see the Chamberlain and get this business cleared up." I went down to Mr Rooke's office and said that I wanted to see about the account. Mr Rooke said -- "It is all right. It is just a change of date, and everything is all right. There is really nothing in the matter at all."

Mr Rooke changed the dates on the accounts.

CONVERSATION WITH A WITNESS

Mrs McLeod went on to describe a conversation she had with the witness Swan in Cathcart Square. Swan started to criticise the deputation expenses of certain councillors, and, striking his breast pocket, he said -- "I have got yours in here too. You have a day here you are not entitled to."

She told him she was never afraid of her expenses, because the ratepayers in the First Ward knew her too well to know that she would not do anything wrong. She said to him -- "I am not living on charity. It is a loss to me when I go on deputations, because I have nurses to pay, and I have to leave some one in the house, and it is no gain to me."

It has been said in evidence that you used the phrase "Dirty scum." -- The reason I am defending this action is because I never used that expression in my life.

Or "living off the backs of the workers"? -- I never used that.

LETTER FROM PROVOST

DENIAL OF PHRASE "DIRTY SCUM"

Mrs McLeod said that she got a letter from the Provost referring to the alleged slander when she returned from Portugal. On opening the letter she got a terrible shock when she saw the words "dirty scum." That word was not in her vocabulary.

Mr McCalman -- Did you write any reply? -- No, I got into touch with Mrs MacArthur and Bailie Lyall, and showed them the letter, and asked them what I should do. We decided to telephone the Provost, and Mrs MacArthur and I went to the telephone. I told him that I had received his letter, and that I denied the stalements.

He said that he would see me, and I asked if Mrs MacArthur could come with me. He agreed, but at two o'clock I received a leter from him stating that he had reconsidered his decision, and wanted Mr Campbell (solicitor) to be with him. I said that I would have to get legal advice if he was going to put it in the hands of a lawyer.

Mrs McLeod went on to say that she was at a meeting of a Corporation committee, and told Bailie Lyall about the position, stating that she was going to Glasgow to see a legal freind. He asked her to wait a moment, and he and Bailie Porter left the meeting. They went to see the Provost, but she did not know what took place.

When they came back Bailie Lyall told her that the Provost would accept nothing but a public apology. She told them that there was nothing left for her but to go and see her friend in Glasgow.

ALLEGED TALK WITH SWAN

Mr McCalman -- On the way to the station did you meet some one? -- I met the man Swan, who was on the other side of the street. It was the first I had seen of him since I came home.

At this stage Mrs McLeod produced a sheet of paper on which were some notes purporting to refer to a conversation she had with Swan.

Mr H.A. Shewan, advocate, who appeared for the Provost, objected to the witness reading from them, and Sheriff Macdonald ruled that the witness could only use them to refresh her memory.

Mrs McLeod stated that Swan explained that a week after she left for Portugal he met Bailie Porter and told him some story about her saying that Provost Bell was living on charity. On the next day Provost Bell came down to him and asked him to go to the office of Mr Cameron, the solicitor.

Swan also told her that Bain and Heron had been called in separately, and had given different stories.

"A BIT OF A TEMPER"

Mr Shewan, cross-examining -- You had been on the Town Council as a Labour representative a good many years before ever Provost Bell came on? -- Yes, six years.

When the time came for a Labour Provost to be elected he was appointed although he had been a councillor only for one year? -- Yes.

Did you have any particular feelings about that? -- Yes. I resented it very much. I did not think he was capable of holding the position.

Are you a person, Mrs McLeod, who has a bit of a temper? -- Yes. I am Highland.

After Mrs McLeod had stated that she was not given an opportunity to make an explanation at the Finance Committee meeting, she said -- "In my opinion, the Provost was glad to be able to bring it up."

Mr Shewan -- Is it your opinion that the pursuer made an unfounded attack on your character? -- Yes. He said I had charged a day too much.

Do you regard the Provost's action at that meeting as being, in fact, an accusation of dishonesty? -- Yes, I do.

You were not asked to refund any money? -- No.

PROVOST'S FINANCIAL POSITION

In further cross-examination, Mrs McLeod said that the Provost repeatedly made statements about his financial position, and people were asking how he lived. That was before the present action was raised.

She thought the Provost's wife was mistaken in saying that the statements as to the alleged slander were widely circulated, and she did not believe that stories had reached Mrs Bell through her boy at school.

Evidence for the defender's case was also given by other witnesses.

Elastica, "Connection" (1994)

Play.

Unarigoe, Chapter 4, Page 9

Albion Rovers Again

Visit Steven's Aardath Football Cards.

It's the first round of the Scottish Challenge Cup (currently styled the Ramsdens Cup after its chief sponsor, a pawnbroker). This is the tournament that gives the thirty SFL clubs a shot at a piece of silverware that the Premier League can't touch. The competition was started in 1990 and has been won most often by Falkirk (four times), as recently as April 1st.

Last year the playoff format was changed to admit two Highland League clubs. The first and second place HFL finishers from 2010-11 joined the first round of the 2011-12 cup, increasing the number of participants to a readily divisible 32, and integrating the Highland League a little bit better into the Scottish football pyramid. That process has continued this year. The top two Highland clubs of 2011-12 (Forres Mechanics and Cove Rangers) now receive a bye into the second round of the Scottish Cup, and the next two SFA licensed clubs enter the first round of the Challenge Cup. That would be fourth place Inverurie Loco Works and eighth place Wick Academy. Nairn County, you should've filled out the paperwork. As the first round of the Challenge Cup is divided into two geographically based groups, there was no chance of Morton drawing either Inverurie or Wick Academy in this round.

Instead Morton draw Albion Rovers, who finished ninth last season in the Second Division. Better yet, it's a home game for Morton, who are nearly always drawn away in these competitions.

Morton beat the Wee Rovers 1 - 0 three weeks ago in a friendly in Coatbridge. The two clubs last met in league play in 2002-03, that one year the Ton made it down to the Third Division. In fact, ever since the creation of the Third Division in 1994 Rovers have been members of it every year except for this year and last, and three seasons they were bottom club.

Who do the other First Division clubs face? Falkirk host Stirling Albion, Cowdenbeath host Alloa, Dumbarton host Queen of the South, Hamilton entertain Airdrie. Dunfermline visit Forfar, Raith visit Wick Academy way way in the North, Livingston visit Annan Athletic, and Partick visit Clyde. All of the First Division clubs can be expected to advance, though Dumbarton should watch out for Queen of the South. Inverurie Locos visit Montrose, and could upset them.

Of course the big story this weekend is that Glasgow Rangers play Brechin tomorrow. Maybe. If the newco can secure an SFA license in time. BBC Alba are broadcasting the game. Assuming it happens. [Rangers 2, Brechin 1, after extra time.]

Oh yeah, and Celtic host Inter Milan.

St Johnstone lost 3 - 1 on aggregate to Eskişehirspor in the Europa League this week. So, of the five Scottish clubs in European competition, they're first in and first out. Generally, in spite of local rivalries, Scottish fans are quite supportive of other Scottish clubs in Europe, because any win improves the coefficient.

Japan's men's team shocked Spain 1 - 0 in Olympic football on Thursday. Japan's women beat Canada 2 - 1 on Wednesday. Looks like I'm on the Japan bandwagon.

But wait, Canada won the gold medal for soccer at the 1904 Saint Louis Olympics! Wow. I never knew that.

[Morton win 2 - 0! Goals by Wallace and O'Brien. Attendance 1269. Livingston, Dumbarton, Dunfermline and Hamilton are out. Inverurie and Wick are out. Celtic 1 Internazionale 1.]

The Annotated Door Repair Guy, episode 51

 

Jubilee

     Close-up of a Maquis rebel hauling back and planting a right

hook in the camera lense.  Cut to another Maquis staggering

bloody-nosed away from the punch.  The camera pulls back to take

in an all-out barroom brawl between rival Maquis crews.  It's a

greatest hits of Star Trek stunt moves!  We see a bat'telh-

wielding stuntman charge across the screen only to be laid low by

the old hands-locked-together double whammy.  A mere slip of an

ensign fends off two burly opponents with a co-ordinated furly of

kick-boxing moves.  A yelling stuntman charges at another who

crouches suddenly and stands, flipping him over his back. 

Another yelling stuntman barrels across the room into a crowd of

opponents only to be thrown backward onto a table, which

collapses.  A Maquis dodges a roundhouse punch by ducking under

it, then hooks a foot behind his opponent's ankle and lands him

on his butt.  A brawler staggers within reach of a Vulcan, is

pinched on the neck, and swoons.

     Commander Chakotay enters with his jaw thrust out and

nostrils flared.  He unholsters his phaser and fires at the

ceiling.  But phasers really aren't that noisy and no one pays

attention.  He adjusts his phaser setting, stands back, and stuns

half the room.  B'Elanna Torres runs in and stops short with her

mouth open.  Over in the corner the Kilometres Davis Collective

survey the heap of bodies, pick up their instruments, and at a

nod from the trumpet-player, attack in mid-note the jazz riff

thing they had been repeating for the six hours previous.

 

     "Crawlspace.  The final frontier.  These are the voyages of

The Door Repair Guy.  His mission: to install and maintain

proximity-activated entranceways, to stake out new rooms and new

service conduits -- to boldly go where no one with a pass key has

gone before."

 

     A pair of Maquis raiders shoot by hotly pursued by a

Miranda-class Federation starship.

 

                    Star Trek: Door Repair Guy

 

                              Starring 

 

                         Door Repair Guy as

                              Himself

 

     The two Maquis shoot past in the other direction now with a

Cardassian Galor-class warship on their tail.

 

                         Also Starring

 

                         Martha Hackett as

                              Seska

 

                         Robert Beltran as

                              Chakotay

 

                         Tim Russ as 

                              Tuvok

 

                         Roxann Biggs-Dawson as

                              Torres

 

     The Federation and Cardassian ships nearly pile up chasing

Maquis ships into the middle of the screen.  The Maquis loop

around and shoot off, one of them coming right past the camera

and leaving behind a glimmering ion trail which fades to:

 

[Commercial: Hikaru Sulu for Miracle Gro]

 

     Chatokay and Maori Maquis captain Queen Victoria are seated

at the bar of the trashed and deserted saloon. 

     Chatokay: "It's time we made a few roster changes."

     Queen Victoria: "I agree.  But you should bear in mind that

if that doesn't work the next step is to replace the coach."

     "It won't come to that if we do our job right.  At the

moment our two crews hate each other.  I don't know why.  They

used to get along."

     Seska enters and sits quietly.  We notice Queen Victoria

notice that Chatokay seems used to having her around.

     Queen Victoria: "It's the Indignants.  Since we divided that

crew between us there has been nothing but unrest."

     Chatokay: "A case of bad chemistry perhaps."

     Queen Victoria: "Chemistry has nothing to do with it.  There

was something going on on that ship, something like. . ."

     Seska: "Sabotage?"

     Chatokay turns, surprised.

     "You didn't say anything about that before."

     Seska: "Have you forgotten that the Indignant blew up five

seconds before Torres' warp core breach?  Didn't that strike you

as odd?"

     Chatokay (to Queen Victoria): "You suspected this?  Is that

why you let me take most of them?"

     Queen Victoria: "I watch my back."

     Chatokay: "Who's the saboteur?"

     Queen Victoria: "If I knew that would we be discussing it

today?"

     Chatokay (to Seska): "Do you know?"

     "If I knew wouldn't I have told you already, darling?"

     "Was it that Romulan, T'Rul?"

     Seska: "She only just arrived before she left.  Did she

really have enough time to sow that much dissention or ingratiate

herself into a position of trust and authority in the engineering

section?  I doubt it."

     "She was a Romulan spy."

     "She was a Romulan."

     "You're splitting hairs.  All Romulans are spies.  Besides,

we caught her in a lie."

     "We have all lied.  Have you never lied?"

     He takes a drink.

     "I've lied."  He stares off into the distance, then comes

back to the present.  "This is getting us nowhere.  We suspect

there is a saboteur, but we don't know who it is.  It's probably

someone from the Indignant.  The best thing we can do at this

moment is to shuffle people around and disturb his plans."

     Seska: "His?"

     "All right, all right.  Or her plans."

     She smiles: "Thank you."

     Queen Victoria: "I'd say the gender imbalance on you ship

has been rectified, Chakotay."

     They all laugh.  For different reasons.

 

     Shot of Torres leading Door Repair Guy through the narrow

corridors of a Maquis ship.

     Torres: "Here's your billet.  Stow your stuff in there."

     DRG: "It's not very big.  I've got room for me and my

toolbox and that's about it."

     "We're not running a cruise ship here.  If you want to play

table tennis go back to Starfleet.  If they'll take you."

     Murdoch the Scottish-Benzite engineer shoulders past with

his duffle bag.

     DRG: "Hey, aren't we going to work together?"

     Murdoch: "Ach, I canna.  I've been traded to the

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a."

     DRG: "Wow.  You're pretty good.  And so clean.  Who'd they

get in return?"

     Torres: "You."

     DRG: "But he's an engineer."

     "I thought you said you were an engineer."

     "I said I was an ingenue."

     "Rrr!!

 

[Commercial: Quark for the Gold Digger]

 

     Shot of a Maquis ship holding its station in space.

     Interior.  Chatokay crosses the flight deck, consults the

long range scanners, glances out the window and sits down

impatiently, deep in thought.

     Tuvok: "The scanners are set to report automatically any

incoming vessel.  There is no need for you to consult them every

seven minutes."

     "I'm concerned about this away mission."

     "Seska is by all appearances a resourceful and self-

motivated team leader.  If anyone can highjack a runabout I am

certain it is she."

     "I hope you're right.  We need more ships, and fewer

casualties."

     Beep beep beep.

     Chatokay: "Runabout on long-range scanner.  Stand by to run

for it when I give the signal."

     "Evasive course laid in and ready.  We have not been

hailed."

     "That's according to plan.  They should scan us and then

drop out of warp."

     "As they have done."

     "Good.  Take us to their co-ordinates."

     "Intercept course."

     Seska appears on-screen.

     Chatokay: "Any difficulties?"

     Seska: "Like taking jumja from a baby."

     "Excellent work.  Beam over and I'll receive your report."

     "On my way."

     Seska and two others appear in a transporter effect.

     Chatokay: "We'll leave a couple of your team on board for

the journ--"

     The viewscreen whitens and puts everyone in black and white

relief.

     Tuvok: "The runabout has detonated with four team members

aboard.  It is totally destroyed."

     Seska makes an angry sound and stomps off.  Chatokay squints

at the spinning wreckage and then goes off after her.

     Tuvok studies the screen with some concern.

 

[Commercial: Worf for the Garden Claw] 

 

     Torres comes down the narrow corridor and pounds on Door

Repair Guy's door.

     Through the door: "Mmph.  Hurmp.  Who is it?"

     "Torres.  You're needed in the wardroom."

     The door slides open to reveal a sleepy DRG.  He rubs his

eye and squints into the corridor light.

     "Big strategy session?"

     "Don't flatter yourself.  The door's stuck."

     "All right!  Real work!"

     "Come on."

     When they arrive it becomes apparent that there is in fact a

big strategy session in progress, but it's in recess because

someone has kicked the door off its track.  DRG shoulders it back

into place, then stands in the room with his back to the other

Maquis to make adjustments.

     Chatokay: "All right.  The door is fixed.  Thank you."

     DRG: "I have to make adjustments."

     "Is it important?"

     "Do you want it to stay put during an explosive

decompression?  Cause unless I calibrate it it might not."

     "All right, all right.  Perhaps we should just proceed."

     Tuvok: "Are there any objections?"

     Seska (eyeing DRG): "I see no reason why not."

     Torres: "Fine by me.  Even that guy isn't as annoying as an

explosive decompression."

     DRG: "Thanks."

     Chatokay: "Very well.  We need more ships.  Ships that don't

blow up so easily."

     Seska: "These are two separate issues.  Let me make a

suggestion.  Why don't you leave me in charge of the sabotage

problem.  I'll get together a team and we'll get to the bottom of

it.  I'm still in a bad mood about that runabout."

     Chatokay: "Very well.  Who do you want?"

     Seska: "I'll take Suder, and Dennis Madalone."

     Tuvok: "What do you propose to do when you identify the

perpetrator?"

     Seska: "I'll take the appropriate action."

     Chatokay: "You look unhappy, Tuvok."

     Tuvok: "By no means.  I would merely point out that a

precipitous expulsion of the guilty party from the nearest

airlock could destroy evidence that might be used to lead us to

co-conspirators."

     Chatokay: "Use your head."

     Seska: "Don't I always?"

     Chatokay: "Very well.  Next order of business: ships.  Any

suggestions?"

     DRG (over his shoulder while he pretends to calibrate):

"What about Vulcan?"

     Torres sits back in disgust.  Chatokay, however, has a look

of concentration between his brows.

     "All right . . . what about Vulcan?"

     DRG: "Aren't they having that big anniversary party in a

couple of weeks?"

     Chatokay glances at Tuvok.

     Tuvok: "The term 'party' would be a misnomer.  Undoubtedly

Mr Door Repair Guy refers to the upcoming jubilee observation of

the ten thousandth anniversary of the use of the metric system on

Vulcan.  The Vulcan Science Academy has spent several years

preparing for a gathering of scientists from across the

Federation on that occasion.  The opening ceremonies are to take

place twelve days hence.  It is anticipated that three hundred

and seven vessels will participate in a grand orbital display. 

The opportunity for a cutting-out raid cannot be denied.  I must

adjoin, however, that Vulcan is situated in the very heart of the

Federation and that there are routinely dozens of starships

within a day's journey of it, not to mention the many Starfleet

vessels that will be on the scene.  Under such unfavourable

circumstances the possibility of maintaining the element of

surprise would be small, and the chances of a successful getaway

negligible."

     Chatokay: "Back up a minute.  Ten thousandth anniversary? 

The metric system was devised in France in the eighteenth

century, wasn't it?"

     "Humans have no patent on the number ten.  The superiority

of the metric system over other systems of measure is obvious to

every civilized culture, hence its adoption throughout the

Federation."

     "But the system as we know it is based on Earth conditions. 

How could the Vulcans have anticipated it?"

     "Admittedly, there are differences.  The system of metric

weight measurement created on Vulcan ten millenia ago is to all

intents and purposes identical to the human system, as both are

based on the properties of the water molecule.  The Vulcan system

of temperature measurement, though based on a scale of one

hundred units, incorporates the freezing and evaporation points

of water as they occur at an average Vulcan surface atmospheric

pressure, which, as you know, differs considerable from the Earth

equivalent.  And the Vulcan metric system of distance measurement

differs from the Terran in that the Terran metre is based

arbitrarily on the length of the arc from Earth's equator to its

pole, whereas the Vulcan metre derives from an arc stretching

from one pole to the other.  It should be added that in the

interests of standardization Vulcan scientists converted to the

Earth-based system over two centuries ago.  In summary, though

the practice may have differed from world to world the theory is

the same."

     Chatokay does some mental calculations.

     "Vulcan has a greater radius than Earth's.  That would make

the tradition Vulcan centimetre over twice the length of the

standard Federation unit."

     "That is correct."

     "How long exactly?"

     "Almost exactly an inch."

     Torres: "This is all academic.  There is absolutely nothing

to be gained from operating so far from the Cardassian border."

     Chatokay: "I'm afraid I disagree.  As long as the fight

remains on the borderline Starfleet Command will believe it has

it contained.  A surprise raid on such a public event might jog

them out of their complacency."

     Torres: "And bring them down on us like a tonne of bricks. 

A metric tonne."

     Chatokay: "Or bring them around.  Don't underestimate the

influence of public opinion, or the morale-building effect a

successful raid would have.  What was the name of that American

captain in the War of Independence who confounded the British

Navy by raiding in the Irish Sea?"

     DRG: "James Earl Jones?"

     Tuvok: "I believe the correct name would be John Paul Jones. 

However, I must caution everyone here against the glamour of

comparing oneself to a dashing figure from the past.  The

resemblance between that captain's situation and yours, sir, is

at best metaphorical."

     "Still, it makes the blood circulate a little faster."

     "A quick sprint would have the same effect."

     "I can understand it if you are attempting to discourage

this proposal out of concern for your home planet."

     "I am attempting to discourage it because it defies logic."

     "And therein lies the element of surprise.  Vulcan it is. 

Please have the necessary departmental reports on my desk by 1800

hours."

     Shot of the meeting breaking up around the very-slightly-

confounded-looking Tuvok.

 

[Commercial: Ugly Bag of Mostly Water for Valera-Kill]

 

     Shot of Chatokay's ship moving at warp.  Cut to Engineering. 

DRG enters, makes eye contact with an instantly ill-humoured

Torres, goes to a work station, sits, and idly enters commands

into the computer console.

     Torres (suddenly at his elbow): "What are you doing?"

     "I'm activating my work station."

     "And who said you could do that?"

     "Murdoch had this station.  You traded him for me.  Ergo."

     "Ergo nothing.  That's somebody else's station now."

     "No it isn't.  There isn't a fingerprint on this console. 

The last person to touch it was Murdoch when he took the Windex

to it.  Look at Jonas's console.  Grease city."

     Jonas: "Oh thanks."

     Torres (crossing her arms and looking at the ceiling): "I'm

calling Suder."

     DRG: "vaj peghwIj vI'angQo'."  ["In that case I won't reveal

my secret."]

     Torres: "nuq?  pegh yIja'."  ["Eh?  Tell the secret."]

     DRG: "tlhIngan Hol vijatlhlaH."  ["I can speak Klingon."]

     Torres: "qeylIS."  ["For Pete's sake."]  "Jonas, keep an eye

on him and make sure he doesn't get up to anything."

     Shot of DRG grinning at the irked Jonas.

 

[Commercial: Leonard Nimoy for Spore-Away]

 

     Tuvok: "Target vessel is within sensor range.  Long-range

scan confirms vessel to be the Landru, registered on Beta III,

crew complement of twenty-one."

     Chatokay: "Well done.  Drop out of warp.  Release and

detonate antimatter pod.  Transmit distress signal."

     The bridge rocks at the antimatter explosion.

     Tuvok: "The Landru is responding to our signal.  They are

moving to assist."

     "Chatokay to Seska.  It's your show now.  Prepare to beam

over.  And remember what I said.  Into the escape pods, not the

airlock.  Make sure Suder gets that."

     *Aye, aye.  Transporting.*

     Chatokay buries his chin in his hand.

     Tuvok: "You appear to be preoccupied."

     "I'm wondering where the saboteur is at this moment."

     "It is conceivable that the individual in question died

accidentally onboard the runabout."

     "True.  Though I doubt it.  I've been thinking, Tuvok.  How

much would you like to bet Starfleet has a spy onboard?"

     "I would not like to bet.  However, I recognize such a plan

to be well within the scope of Starfleet's capability."

     "I wonder who it is.  Do you have any idea?"

     "I am hesitant to point a finger at this time."

     "I'll just bet it's that door repairman.  His story is so

bizarre you feel it has to be true."

     "An instance of reverse psychology?"

     "Perhaps.  Keep an eye on him."

     "I shall assuredly do so."

 

[Commercial: Charlie X for Weed-Ex]

 

     The observation lounge of the USS Endeavour in orbit above

Vulcan.  Starfleet personnel in dress uniform and VIPs of all

descriptions stand in small clusters holding delicately stemmed

champagne flutes and conversing in a cheerful but indestinct and

residual-free murmur.  Below them turns the red Vulcanian sphere

(actually Mars from Episode 047 blown up to twice the size and

the polar ice airbrushed out.)  Outside, a nearly endless parade

of spacecraft from every corner of the Federation coast past

accompanied by small flotillas of shuttlecraft.  The observation

lounge speakers keep up a continuous dialogue of ship-to-ship

greetings and navigational instructions.  We see a mammoth battle

cruiser loom up and then veer away while launching a volley of

photon torpedoes which detonate harmlessly in a delightful

pyrotechnic display to the spontaneous applause of the assembled

dignitaries.

     "Quite a parade."

     Captain Picard's face goes from an expression of wrapt

enjoyment to a moment's consternation at the interruption and

suddenly to a wide smile at the sight of Commander Riker mugging

indulgently over his shoulder.

     "Number One!  How are you?  Yes, it is a marvelous display. 

I've been standing here like an eight-year-old boy for half an

hour, simply watching the ships go by."

     "I'd say Starfleet has come along quite well since, well,

you know."

     "Oh, no need to be shy, Number One.  Everyone knows what

brought about the rebuilding programme.  I'm quite gratified to

see the number of ships coming out bearing the names of vessels

lost at Wolf 395.  And there's even one named Resistance.  I've

been invited to the launch.  Isn't that marvelous?"

     "Absolutely."

     They gaze out the windows.

     Riker: "I thought you'd like to see these."

     The passes Picard a batch of photographs.

     "It's the Enterprise-E!  Where did you get these?"

     "I know a web site."

     "Absolutely magnificent!  Look at that!"

     "I thought you'd like them."

     "You know, Number One, it's gradually dawning on me that we

live in the golden age of starship building.  Someday, sooner

than we think, I'm sure, we're discover how to transport directly

from planet to planet, and that'll be the end of space-going

vessels as we know them."

     "It'll be a sad day."

     "For all we know, what we are witnessing today could be the

greatest assemblage of -- Now, what is he doing?"

     A brightly painted freighter can be seen skirting the main

flight path and extruding a series of large sausage-shaped

objects from its stern.  We see one of these twist free and bulge 

into a letter F.

     Riker: "They look like inflatable satellites of some kind."

     Picard consults a handheld computer pad.

     "The guidebook says it's the representative of the planet

Beta III, originally visited by the USS Archon in the 22nd

century."

     "I've heard of them.  They were ruled by a computer until--"

     "Let me guess.  James Kirk."

     "Yes."

     "Considering our past troubles with the Borg, I sometimes

wonder whether Kirk wasn't justified in his actions in that case,

Prime Directive or no Prime Directive.  He had a way of getting

to the gist of a problem directly, and having been assimiltated

myself I can appreciate his antipathy toward any sort of

computer-dominated group mind."

     "Thank God we're done with the Borg."

     "Agreed.  Oh my God, will you look at that!"

     The freighter is apparently trying to lay a series of

inflatable buoys to spell the word FESTIVAL, but a number of the

letters have drifted free, and one of them has been snagged by a

passing nacelle.  Picard and Riker stand there shaking their

heads while the balloon-embarrassed starship coasts by.

     Riker: "Isn't that the Bozeman?"

     Cut to the bridge of the ship in question.  Captain Bateson

is standing at his chair, fists in the air, face as red as his

uniform, shouting: "Is there nobody among you landlubbers who has

the foggiest idea how to get that dirigible off my engine!!???"

     Back on the Endeavour:

     Picard: "Yes, I think it is the Bozeman."

     "I hope he doesn't run into us."

     "I think he's all right now.  A quick phaser burst should do

it.  Look out!"  They duck as the beam shoots past the window,

then pick themselves up.  Exterior shot of the letter rapidly

deflating on the Bozeman's nacelle.

     Riker: "Got it."

     Picard inhales in disbelief and holds the back of his neck.

     Riker: "Captain, I wonder if you would care to join a number

of the Enterprises for supper this evening.  Geordi will be

there, and Lieutenant Barclay."

     "Delighted.  But I don't want to hurry away.  I understand

the Stargazer is due by at any time."

     "The refit is complete?"

     "Yes, after considerable delay.  There were many in favour

of mothballing her completely, let me tell you, but I pulled some

strings, and I look forward to seeing her in service again within

the next several months.  She'll be a fine command for some young

captain."

     "I hope you don't-- "

     "No, don't worry, Number One.  You're much too tall for the

Stargazer." 

     "I'm glad you agree.  Isn't that the Stargazer?"

     "Where?  Yes!  Yes, it is!  Look, they're performing a

manoeuvre of some kind."

     "The Picard Manoeuvre, perhaps?"

     "Do you suppose?  They'll have to warp off a distance to

begin."

     "There she goes." 

     View of the four-engined Stargazer rising out of the flight

path of the other parading vessels, turning, and jumping to warp.

     "It should take just a moment."

     They wait.

     And wait.

 

------------

Written by Douglas A. McLeod, [email protected]

------------

 

Notes on Jubilee:

Yes, the whole premise of Star Trek would collapse if planet-to-planet transporters were introduced. Though I recall someone had them in Voyager.

 

 

Gratuitous Woman in the Dunes Still

Old Burying Ground, July Afternoon

Slanderous Bailie McLeod

From the Glasgow Herald, July 24, 1936, page 12.

ACTION BY GREENOCK PROVOST

Alleged Slander by Councillor: "Living Off Backs of Workers"

Keen public interest was taken in the proof of an action in Greenock Sheriff Court yesterday involving the Provost of Greenock and another member of the Corporation. Provost J. W. Bell is suing Mrs Catherine McLeod for £150 damages for alleged slander.

The proceedings lasted all day, and pursuer's case was not completed when the Court rose. The proof was adjourned until Thursday, July 30.

The case was heard by Sheriff Macdonald, pursuer being represented by Mr J. G. Shewan, advocate, and defender by Mr Hugh T. McCalman, solicitor, Glasgow.

PURSUER'S EVIDENCE

Provost Bell stated in evidence that he was an electric welder to trade, but had been unemployed since November, 1932, when he was elected to the Town Council. In November, 1933, he was appointed Provost, and had held the position ever since.

He was a member of the Labour Party and chairman of the board of the Co-operative Society in Greenock. He had also been appointed by the Secretary of State for Scotland to serve on various public bodies, and at the present time he was a member of the Departmental Commission to inquire into representation of poor persons in legal matters.

Defender, Mrs McLeod, had been a member of the Town Council for about nine years and was also a member of the Labour Party.

In reply to Mr Shewan, Provost Bell stated that the relations between himself and defender were "not the very sweetest." After he became Provost, which Mrs McLeod never supported, he found that every opportunity was taken by her to insult and abuse him at private meetings.

QUESTION OF COUNCILLOR'S EXPENSES

After giving details of allowances to Corporation members on deputations pursuer referred to a meeting of the Finance and General Purposes Committee. He produced extracts of two accounts from the minutes in connection with the Public Health Department.

The first read -- "Bailie Mrs McLeod -- Expenses attending a conference at Southport, June 25 to 30, five days, £10"; and the other -- "Bailie Mrs McLeod -- Expenses attending conference at London, June 30 to July 4, five days, £15."

When he found that Mrs McLeod was charging delegation expenses for June 30 at Southport and also for June 30 at London he came to the conclusion, in view of the fact that there had been very keen public controversy about councillors' expenses, that it was his duty to get this put right. All he said at the meeting was -- "There are two items in the Public Health accounts which show that Mrs McLeod has charged for June 30 twice. I am prepared to move that this matter be remitted to the Chamberlain to be put right."

Mrs McLeod arrived at the meeting just after the motion was carried. He explained the position as kindly as any man could, and the Chamberlain walked over to her with the two receipts.

She flung them in his face, and said -- "I have spent the money, and you can do what you like."

Mr Shewan -- Did you, as the defender alleges, make a bitter and unfounded attack on defender's character with reference to this matter? -- Never. I made no attack on her.

"LIVING ON CHARITY"

PROVOST AND "POISONOUS IMPUTATIONS"

Continuing his evidence, Provost Bell said that it came to his ears later that certain slanderous statements concerning him were in circulation.

These alleged that he was a dirty scum, that he had lived off the backs of the workers ever since he came to Greenock, and that he had lived on charity ever since he went in there. He regarded them as poisonous imputations against his character implying that he had been using his position as Provost to get money from irregular sources.

He felt that they would have to be repudiated and withdrawn, as there was absolutely no truth in them.

He intended to challenge Mrs McLeod on whether she had made the statements, but she had left for Portugal, and it was some time before she came back and he could communicate with her. He wrote to her after her return proposing to delay proceedings to allow her to make an apology.

Mr Shewan -- If she had done so, would you have allowed bygones to be bygones? -- Yes.

Mr Shewan -- Had you frequently stated on public platforms that you had lived on the charity of your friends? -- Exactly the opposite. I have stated in public that no person could hold the office of Provost in this town with any dignity or authority while drawing public assistance or benefit from any other source. I have also stated that I am dependent entirely upon my life's savings.

Bailie Porter and Bailie Lyall had tried to mediate between himself and defender because of the fact that Mrs McLeod was a candidate in the last November election. He had no desire to injure her chances, and he told them that he was prepared to accept an apology and to give a guarantee that it would not be published until after the election. In spite of that, no apology had been given.

OFFERED THE M.B.E.

Cross-examined by Mr McCalman, Provost Bell said he did not think there was anything dishonourable in obtaining public relief of any kind.

Referring to a meeting in the First Ward on December 9, 1934, Mr McCalman asked witness if he had then said that he had been offered an M.B.E.

The Provost -- I might have.

Did you say you had refused it? -- Yes.

Who offered you the M.B.E.? -- Sir George Carter, now dead.

Did he give out M.B.E.'s? -- No, he had no authority; but he asked me if I was prepared to accept the honour.

Did you also state that you refused it and suggested that it should be given to the lavatory attendant? -- No.

The Provost explained that he had received the offer because during the war he had been chairman of the Cammell Laird War Relief Fund, which distributed over £53,000 to the dependants of those who had gone to the war from the shipyard.

In answer to a further question, the Provost stated that there was nothing illegal in the claim made by Mrs McLeod in respect of expenses, other than that she duplicated her claim for one particular day.

INCOME FROM CO-OPERATIVE SOCIETY

Questioned regarding his means, Provost Bell said that his money was in co-operative society shares, and his income for the past four years from this investment consisted of dividends on purchases and interest on the amount standing in his name.

He had drawn £420 from these books since he became a councillor in Greenock. He had nothing to hide, and nothing to regret.

His earnings from the co-operative movement during last year amounted to £40, and he was paid £12 a year for being chairman of Greenock Central Co-operative Society.

Mr McCalman -- I suggest that your sole purpose in bringing this action was to intimidate Mrs McLeod and earn some publicity for yourself. -- I could get no more publicity than I am getting as Provost of Greenock.

The Provost's evidence lasted over 2 1/2 hours.

"THAT DIRTY SCUM"

ALLEGED STATEMENT BY DEFENDER

Peter McGregor Swan (57), iron driller, said that on a Thursday towards the end of August, 1935, he was standing at Cathcart Square in company with two other men.

Mrs McLeod came out of the Municipal Buildings, crossed the street, and spoke to them. After referring to another Corporation matter, she said -- "What do you think of that dirty scum challenging me for a day's delegation expenses of 25s?"

Witness asked her to whom she was referring, and she said -- "Provost Bell, a man who has been living on charity ever since he went in there." Witness inferred that she meant the Council Chambers, and that the statement was meant to convey that the Provost was using his position for his own gain.

After further conversation Mrs McLeod said -- "He has been living on charity ever since he came to Greenock," and "He has been living on the backs of the workers since he has come to Greenock."

At a later date witness met Bailie Porter and told him what Mrs McLeod had said, and subsequently, so far as he could remember, he told the Provost the words that had been used.

Witness denied in cross-examination that he had ever stated that he intended to break the Labour group in Greenock Corporation.

Mr McCalman -- Did you consider it just a little bit of gossip when you mentioned the matter to Bailie Porter? -- I may have.

Did you think it just a joke? -- No; I did not consider it a joke.

MRS MCLEOD "READY TO BREAK DOWN"

John Bain (48), iron moulder, who accompanied Swan when defender spoke to them, stated in cross-examination that when Mrs McLeod came over he thought she was pretty hysterical and was just ready to break down.

Joseph Heron (52), labourer, also gave evidence of Mrs McLeod having made the statements complained of.

Mrs Bell, wife of the Provost, said that the words alleged to have been used by Mrs McLeod were widely circulated. Witness had a family of four children, all at school, and her eldest boy had certainly heard of the statements.

Asked what her husband's motives were in bringing the action, Mrs Bell replied that if the slander was not repudiated the children would carry a suspicion on their shoulders throughout their lives that they had been brought up on something they were not entitled to. Her husband brought the action to clear his character.

After evidence had been given by Bailie Harry Lyall as to his part in attempting to mediate between the parties, the court adjourned until Thursday, July 30.

Watching Hato Watch

Genshiken chapter 77 is out, and it contains several fantastic panels. Kio Shimoku has been using screentone with increasing mastery and, clearly, enjoyment since restarting the series. The contest of historical knowledge between Yoshitake and her high school clubmates in chapter 75 draws a huge amount of energy from the lightning crackling in the background. In chapter 77 Shimoku uses a gasoline explosion effect to emphasize the transgressive power of the pairing Ken X Yuu. And in the Sue's Final Technique panel she's surrounded by supernatural vapour.

In the panel above Shimoku employs screentone for a subtler but more cinematic effect. Hato, in black wig and argyle vest is lit strongly. Ogiue and Kaminaga, who have been doing most of the talking through this chapter, are drawn with few or no facial features and are thrown into shade as Hato focuses on a momentary glimpse of the chapter's B plot, the action between Madarame and Sue. The oddness of the moment is emphasized by the tilted (camera) angle. The panel feels like a scene from a black and white film.

Hato is the central character of the revived Genshiken. Through about twenty chapters his crossdressing, and the motivation behind it, have been the mystery that has drawn the reader onward. But at the same time we're shown Hato trying to figure everybody else out, and you get panels like the one above in which you are positioned to take his point of view. You look over Hato's shoulder and his curiosity becomes yours. Here's another example from chapter 76:

Hato is both the mystery and the one trying to solve the mystery, like in a Hitchcock film.

Unarigoe, Chapter 4, Page 8