28.
The day after my conversation with Lemboîté, around five in the evening, I was taking advantage of the stop at Porchefontaine to explore the Bois des Gonards. It was hot enough to cook a lobster, which made me want to see the trees and greenery.
I was returning when, from the road, I heard someone call my name. "Eh! Bonjour, mam'zelle Bécassine!" I recognized the coachman of a friend of Madame who lives in Jouy-en-Josas. "Good day to you, m'sieur Victor," I said. "What brings you here with your calèche?"
"I'm off for home. Your lady had lunch there today. Since there was no convenient train for her return, I brought her as far as the octroi. She's going to take your tram."
My God, is it possible? Without pausing to say goodbye I took off running. I repeated, "Madame is on my tram! ... Madame is on my tram!" It had an emotional effect! Think about it. That tram is, you could say, my house. Madame had the goodness to visit, but I wasn't there to welcome her and seat her. I jumped on board. "Bonjour, my good Bécassine!" said Madame. She was as amiable as ever, and, marquise though she is, she had simply seated herself in the tram like an ordinary person.
I said, "Madame does me great honour ... I'm in a fluster." And, while speaking I batted at the filthy car: the cigarette butts on the floor, the windows in disarray, the newspaper everywhere. I grabbed my brush and my duster and began to polish with both hands. That kicked up the dust, a real cloud. Madame stood, coughing, and said, "It's not necessary ... don't put yourself to the trouble, my good Bécassine." Me, I continued with all the strength in my arms.
For the first while after Madame boarded my tram I was ashamed to have her in such a manure heap. Once that was a little bit improved, while we rested before setting off, I called Lemboîté. He came, and I presented him to her as I had seen her do at receptions: "Father Lemboîté, Madame, our driver ... My good mistress, Madame la Marquise de Grand-Air." He was not used to talking with marquises, that brave Father Lemboîté. He was intimidated, and twisted his hat in his hands while greeting her. But he was very good. He said, "Ma'am la Marquise, the driver, electrician, and mechanic are at the command of Ma'am la Marquise." She replied that she was enchanted to travel in his car ...
29.
... and she added other things that I wouldn't be able to reproduce because they were so genteel and well-turned. He was very moved, and, once back on the operator's platform, he let fall in my ear, "Your patron is pure metal without alloy." That made me happy.
Some passengers got on board. Instead of letting them sit wherever they pleased, as was the habit, I showed them to their place, and said to them, "Seat yourself here; sit down there." Some were obedient, but others wouldn't go along with it. This led to some disputes, especially with one of my customers of the hour of the trees. I held firm. I couldn't allow Madame la Marquise to sit among those yokels, could I? It was the least I could do to see that she got a little corner to herself. Our time of departure came, we started off, and for a while I couldn't occupy myself with Madame, as business is business and I had fares to receive.
It isn't strict true to say that I was not occupied with Madame. Even as I collected the fares and handed out my tickets, I glanced over my shoulder and laughed secretly because she had taken out her change purse and every time I passed near her she said to me, "Take my fare, Bécassine. How much is it?" I played deaf, but I heard perfectly well and amused myself in advance at the surprise Madame would have. When I was finished my round, she called me, and said, "You have forgotten me, Bécassine."
Then she held out her change purse and added, "Here you are, pay yourself." But I refused and said, "It's paid." "How is it paid? I haven't given you any money." "It's paid all the same, madame." The passengers leaned in to listen.
My scrounger from the hour of the trees began to complain. "So there are passengers who don't have to pay, and it's the very rich! Is that equality?" Ah! I didn't let him go on long. I cried, "And if it pleases me to pay out my own sous, is that my right?" And the company, do they lose anything?" Then, turning to Madame, I explained, "When Madame receives visitors, she doesn't make them pay, is that not correct? And the one time she does me the honour of visiting me, I take her sous! That's a good one. I'd rather chop off my hands." "As you wish, my good Bécassine," said Madame, "Thank you." And she put her change purse in her bag. I was happy. It went very well, that little voyage. Unhappily, it didn't take long to turn into a drama.
30.
We were halfway along our route when the sky rapidly darkened, there was a clap of thunder, with big drops of rain, and right afterward a downpour that would soak you through in an instant. Everyone hurried to close their windows.
I went to Madame. "It's a thunderstorm," I said to her. "Has Madame at least her umbrella and her waterproof coat?" "But no, my good Bécassine, I brought neither umbrella nor coat. You assured me this morning that it would be fine." And, indeed, that morning, Madame had told me that she was to lunch in town, that, being from the country, I would know how the weather would turn out, and that I should advise her. I hurried to our yard, I took hold of the rooster, and examined his comb and his left wing. I noticed that the feathers weren't curled at all, a sure and certain sign, and I went back upstairs and said to Madame: "It's no mistake, today will be fine."
So Madame instructed Maria to lay out her new dress and hat. The dress is silk muslin over a transparency, and the hat a grand capeline covered in chantilly lace. You never saw anything more lovely. When Madame is dressed like that she looks like an exhibit in the museum.
The roughest of the scavengers, who let nothing pass without comment, had to admit, "That lady there is a marquise, but more like a princess." But that costume is fragile. A drop of water and it's wrecked. I was sick at heart to think of that lovely attire spoiled and ruined, not to mention the rheumatics, disorders and choleras that a lady of her years is subject to in this kind of rain. All this because of a rooster with straight feathers!
I was on the forward platform looking for a break in the clouds, but instead of abating the deluge redoubled. Lemboîté and I both streamed with water, like statues in a fountain. When we reached Chantiers I called, "Everybody exit!" Immediately I added, "Except for Madame, who must remain sheltered. I'll try to find her a cab." You can never find a cab when you want one in these bad times. I only saw one. I yelled, "For Clagny -- good tip!" He turned it down. Naturally, he was heading to Grandchamp at the other end of town to relieve another cabbie.
What was I to do? The connecting tram hadn't arrived, and if it didn't go near Clagny it would be necessary to change trams again, and the time it took to change would be enough to turn Madame into a fountain. I got back on board. Madame was arranging her handkerchief to protect her hat.
31.
She said, "I cannot hold you up all evening. I'm going to get off, with the grace of God!" "No, no," I cried, "Don't budge, Madame. I have an idea!" Then I went out to the front platform. There stood Lemboîté despite the rain lashing his face. He had his usual air of seeing nothing, feeling nothing, and sleeping on his feet. I asked him, "Father Lemboîté, is there electricity in the motor?" "Of course." "Good, then, we're leaving." He took his lever and started toward the platform at the other end of the car, as he does each trip. I said to him, "Leave everything in place and go back tot he front end." As I knew he'd hesitate, I added, "By order of the management: forward, with speed, and no stops." "That's fine," he said. "Don't get angry. Forward, backward, it doesn't matter to me. I am emboîté, I follow my rail." He started up.
My heart was beating with emotion, because it was pretty audacious, my plan. Again I ask myself how I came up with it. Probably a leftover of that swelling of pride I told you about, when I saw myself as mistress of everything that goes on in my car.
We started off. People soaked by the rain signalled to us, and then hurled insults when we didn't stop. I went from Madame, who didn't comprehend what was going on, to Lemboîté to tell him, "More speed." Despite my haste, it was necessary to stop at the crossings at Rue de Tribunaux and Rue Duplessis. There, Virginie Patate arrived under her umbrella.
She asked me, "What is this about? A Chantiers-Porchfontainen here?" While she talked, I changed the points, reboarded, and we were off, while she was still asking why we were so far off our route. Once we were beyond that point it was clear sailing.
Five minutes later we were at the Clgny terminus. Our house is two steps away. Just at that moment the storm passed and it stopped raining. I said, "Madame may exit, we are home. I have repaired the stupidity of our rooster. Neither Madame nor her gown has come to harm."
She was very moved, that dear Madame. She told me, "It's mad, my poor girl, what you have done. A tram that makes up its own route, what a scandal! You're going to get yourself dismissed, and lose that brave Monsieur Lemboîté his job." I hadn't thought of that. It pained me. I lowered my head in confusion. Ah! It had passed, my pride, and I was well punished as I had foreseen. "We must go to the management," concluded Madame, "and I will try to arrange things." "If Madame wants."
But, at the moment we were leaving, Father Lemboîté called, "And me, where will I go?" "Go where you want, M'sieur Lemboîté, I'm no longer giving orders." "So, another person to tell me when to start and stop. It's the limit." He gave a sorry shrug. Then he calmed and thought, "By my faith, I'll stay where I'm boxed. I won't budge." And he stuffed his pipe.