28.
I don't need to tell you that I was impatient to rejoin my friends the generals. I ran as fast as I could to the village, and I didn't lose any time starting to buy vegetables.
But market gardeners are not the quickest people. The first one I saw would serve me only after he had finished digging up a corner of his plot. Another was putting mats around his frames. He showed me as much consideration as you would a mat. I boiled over and stamped my feet, but to get him to hurry up was like trying to knock over a wall with your breath.
Also, I had to make two journeys with a wheelbarrow to convey my purchases to the station, where I left them under guard. Madame hadn't told me how many vegetables she wanted. I thought it was better to get too many than not enough. I took all I could find: ten cabbages, and I don't know how many bundles of carrot, leek and turnip. All the same, I was a little shocked when I saw the pile they made. All that took me over an hour.
And I hope you'll believe I didn't dawdle on the road toward the barracks ... to Headquarters, I should say. When I arrived, a sentry shouted, "Who goes there?" Then he said, "Ah, it's you, the Breton from the train. You may pass." I recognized him as one of the ones from the train. I also recognized his comrades, who were milling around in front of Headquarters. They were wearing uniforms, but they were a funny bunch of soldiers, tangled in their rifles, with little in the way of military bearing.
They said to me, "The head guys are down there. They were asking for you." I looked where they indicated, and for a moment I nearly fell down in astonishment. There were my friends from the train. I recognized them, but at the same time I saw how they matched up with the pictures in the newspapers. It was amazing how anyone could transform like that!
29.
The danger of spies must be great if it causes generals to disguse themselves on the train! General Joffre said to me, "You're late. You missed the parade and the distribution of medals. But we still have a lot of interesting things to show you."
He turned to the Emperor and the coffee-seller, who had his machine set up on a tripod. He asked them, "What do you want to do now?" They said, "The arrival of the foreign generals at Allied Headquarters."
Then Joffre and Nivelle paced off about fifteen metres. They shouted, "Here we are. Turn the crank, coffee-seller." And they had a lively conversation, with plenty of gestures. And then an automobile pulled up, with General Cadorna inside. He got out. He shook the others by the hand, and spoke with them.
It was the same thing with Broussiloff, Haig, the Belgian general, the Serb and the Japanese, whose names I don't know. But it was always the same auto, with the same driver, who changed his uniform each time. It astonished me that each general didn't have his own car.
Me, I stood by the coffee-seller, who turned the crank with seriousness and attention, as if victory depended on it. The Emperor gave directions: "Joffre, a little forward ... Cadorna, in profile ... closer together ... smile."
And everone obeyed him. I had the notion that he must be a very powerful individual, more powerful than a deputy. He seemed happy. He kept saying, "Excellent scene. That's what the public is after." And then he yeled, "That'll do. Take a break."
They all came over. He handed out cigarettes, and they smoked and chatted together, including the coffee-seller, which I found a little familiar on his part. But I've witnessed so many amazing things since the day I was born that nothing surprises me anymore.
30.
When the cigarettes were finished, the Emperor shouted, "Let's get back to it. Time is wasting. Everyone in place for the Allied council of war." The generals gathered and conferred around a table spread with a map.
I approached a little and put out my ear, thinking that they must be saying some very interesting things about the war. Ah well! I was in for a surprise. They were talking about the mutton stew at their hotel, and complaining that it was more bone than meat.
At that moment a gust of wind lifted the map and blew it away. I ran after it and brought it back. I thought I had done well, but the Emperor and coffee-seller set up a cry of "She has wasted two metres of ---" Here they said a word I didn't understand, something like film.
Fortunately, the generals came to my defence. They said, "Calm yourselves. It's no great loss. We can start over." They went back to their discussion.
And then everyone took another break, but they didn't seem as content as the last time. The Emperor said, "We need something sensational for the final scene. I've wracked my brains, but I can't come up with anything. Do any of you have an idea?" No, they didn't either.
Then they said, "Maybe the Traitor has something." They called him over. It was that redheaded villain whose looks I don't care for. He made some kind of suggestion, but I didn't overhear it. The others nodded and said, "It's not great, but it'll do."
"It's worth a try," said the Emperor. They built a campfire. A soldier carried over a large rock that appeared to be made of cardboard. General Joffre seated himself on it with his map on his knee and the soldier standing guard nearby.
The Emperor said: "Evening, a bivouac... The General prepares tomorrow's attack... Overcome by fatique, the General dozes off... Act like you're sleeping, General... Eluding the guard's surveillance, a Boche sneeks up."
At that instant I saw something terrible. The frightening redhead, now in a beard and a pointy helmet, was creeping up from behind and raising a dagger.
Then, in a blink of an eye...
31.
I leapt on him, I grabbed the dagger from his hand, and rolled him on the ground. I put my foot on his back as I had once seen a liontamer do with a ferocious tiger.
It seems that the coffee-seller had me in his sights again, and was yelling about lost film, but the Emperor shouted back, "Keep quiet and keep cranking! This is phenomenal! It'll be a triumph!" Me, I was so worked up that I burst into tears.
They were all very kind. They gathered round, consoled and thanked me. And then they changed back into their civilian clothes, and we all went back to the train station. What amazed me most of all was that Joffre walked along with that frightful traitor who had tried to assassinate him, and called him, "My old pal."
At the station, they were astonished by the quantity of vegetables I had purchased. For sure there was no way I'd be able to carry them all by myself. They helped, and not only there, but at BLANK, where they had the goodness to accompany me to the house and help me arrange the produce in the kitchen. There were vegetables everywhere, on the floor, on the tables. It looked like a market stall.
As he left, the Emperor said, "Mademoiselle, as a mark of gratitude for all that you have done, here are some tickets to the showing tomorrow at the Grand National Cinema. It's a premiere that will interest you. Don't fail to show up."
I was left totally clueless, tickets in hand, wondering if this wasn't a dream, and what a cinema, the Emperor, and all the generals could possibly have in common.
Comments