Plenty of Nothing

Paolo Forlani's Scotia

Paolo Forlani's map of Scotia, printed in 1560. You can explore it in detail here.

Morton visit St Mirren, in Paslei.

Morton hold third place in the Championship with 27 points, ahead of Falkirk on goal difference.

The Buddies have managed two wins in eighteen starts, putting them on track for four wins and 22 points overall by the end of the schedule. They've scored 17 goals and allowed 33 and are 6 points out of ninth place. These numbers raise the question: Is this St Mirren's worst season ever? Let's apply some criteria.

1) Longest wait for the first league win.

2016-17    Dec 6

1983-84    Oct 29

1942-43    Oct 17

1920-21    Oct 9

2013-14    Oct 5

1964-65    Oct 3

2) Fewest wins in a season.

1899-00    3W    (18 games)    .167

1966-67    4W    (34 games)    .118

1990-91    5W    (36 games)    .139

1890-91    5W    (22 games)    .227

1900-01    5W    (20 games)    .250

1895-96    5W    (18 games)    .278

1890-91    5W    (18 games)    .278

1991-92    6W    (44 games)    .136

Four wins in 36 games would be their worst ever.

3) Fewest goals in a season.

1966-67    25    (34 games)    .74 per game

2007-08    26    (38 games)    .68 per game

1989-90    28    (36 games)    .78 per game

1990-91    28    (36 games)    .78 per game

1901-02    29    (18 games)    1.61 per game

4) Most rungs below Morton.

1913-14    16

1973-74    15

1920-21    13

1967-68    13

1911-12    12

1972-73    11

1966-67 looks pretty bad. The Buddies finished 17th out of 18 in Division One, with 4 wins and a goal difference of -56, and were relegated to Divison Two (in the days when there were only two divisions).

In the three-division and four-division eras, when was the last time St Mirren fell below the second tier? They never have.

What is Morton's best result against St Mirren? Morton won 8 - 0 at Cappielow Jan 1, 1943, in Southern League play. St Mirren beat Morton 7 - 0 at Love Street, Feb 5, 1938 in league play; and 8 - 0 at Love Street, Sept 4, 1934, in the Renfrewshire Cup.

[1 - 1. Morton goal by Lamie. Match report.]

How often have Morton played on Hogmanay? 18 times before today. They have 8 wins, 4 draws, and 6 losses on December 31st. The most recent occasion was New Year's Eve 2005, when Morton beat Forfar 0 - 1. The first time was:

1898-99. On December 31st, 1898, Morton visited Ayr FC and lost 1 - 0.

Glasgow Herald, January 2, 1899 (page 8):

    AYR V. GREENOCK MORTON.--At Somerset Park, Ayr. Teams:--Ayr--Baxter; Millar and Wills; Aitken, Ballantyne, and Davidson; M'Cartney and Dempsey; Speirs, Lyall, and Owen. Morton--M'Pherson; Anderson and Orr; Calligan, Henderson, and Blair; Dale and Hunter; M'Culloch, Linn and Reid. Referee--Traill, Port-Glasgow. The run of the play in the first half was in favour of the visitors, who, however, were deficient at goal. Twice or thrice Ayr caused M'Pherson some trouble, but generally speaking the forwards were very weak. At half-time there was no scoring. On resuming more life was put into the game, but it was not till within 15 minutes of the close that the first and only goal of the match was scored for Ayr by Speirs, who had eluded the backs, and having a clear goal, easily beat M'Pherson. The result was:--Ayr, 1; Greenock Morton, 0.

Morton's 18-game SFL schedule is complete, though other league members still have a number of few games to make up. Morton ends in seventh place with six wins, a draw, and eleven losses, and a goal difference of -5. Let's continue to follow Morton through the early months of 1899 as they compete in the Glasgow and West Scotland Football League, the Scottish Cup, and the Renfrewshire Cup.

What was the highlight of the first half of 2016-17 for each Championship team?

Ayr United                     They beat Hibs at Easter Road.

Dumbarton                    They beat Dundee United.

Dundee United              They took over first place on Xmas Eve.

Dunfermline                   They beat Morton.

Falkirk                            They tied Hibs.

Hibs                               They held first place for eleven weeks.

Morton                           They made the League Cup semi-finals.

Queen of the South       They held first place for three weeks.

Raith Rovers                  They held first place for three weeks.

St Mirren                        They made the Challenge Cup semi-finals.

Current home winless streaks:

0                Dundee United, Morton, Dumbarton

1                Dunfermline, Falkirk, Hibs, St Mirren

2                Raith

4                Ayr United

6                Queen of the South

Winter Break. After today's play the Premiership goes on winter break until January 28th. This is the longterm effect of the snowy winter of 2010-11. Though, if memory serves, the Premier League was the one that was least effected by postponements that winter.

But what will they put on TV? January 6th, Hibs vs Dundee United. January 14th, a glamour friendly between Rangers and Red Bull Leipzig. January 21st, Scottish Cup 4th round.

How is FC Wil 1900 like Greenock Morton?

FC Wil has won the Swiss Cup once, and been in European competition once. It's a longstanding member of the second tier. Its stadium is smaller than Cappielow. Team colours are white, black, and powder blue.

The semi-finals of the Emperor's Cup were played Thursday:

Yokohama F. Marinos 0 - 2 Kashima Antlers

Omiya Ardija 0 - 1 Kawasaki Frontale

Scotland's Towns: Paisley.

Queen of the South vs Ayr United, a Burns Country derby. These two clubs have played in the same division six seasons in the 21st Century, five of them in the second tier and one in the third. QoS are nine league wins ahead during that time. [0 - 0.]

Miharashidai

This beverage commercial pulls out the trope of the-only-passenger-left-at-the-out-of-the-way-train-station-is-a-high-school-girl, first seen here. Miharashidai station really is out of the way, on a branch line connecting Takamori to Kunamoto in central Kyushu where, I guess, they also have winter. The combination of high school girl and endangered branch line evokes a sense of the ephemeral quality of things, and can be used to sell bottled tea. Watch.

My complaint: if the Annapolis Valley were in Japan I'm pretty certain there would have been a morning train from Kingston Station to West Kings DHS when I was going to high school. The tracks ran right past my door and the school.

Orchestral Pitagora Suichi

Do you think you know Pitagora Suichi? How about Shadow Pitagora Suichi, or Underwater Pitagora Suichi. How about Single Drop of Water Pitagora Suichi. [Dead link! This link has Shadow Pitagora Suichi, but not Underwater Pitagora Suichi.]

Fayum Portraits

It's difficult to regard Egyptian mummies with horror once you've looked at the portraits they used to attach to them.

Spengler Cup 2016

It's the 90th edition of the Spengler Cup. This years' competitors are: HC Davos, Team Canada, HC Lugano, Avtomobilist Yekaterinburg, Dinamo Minsk, and Mountfield HK.

Davos, Team Canada, Lugano and Avtomobilist all participated last year, and Team Canada won the cup. Dinamo Minsk are back after winning the tournament in 2009. Mountfield HK of the Czech Extraliga appear for the first time.

Avtomobilist and Dinamo are both members of the KHL, and Davos and Lugano are both in the Swiss NLA. The Spengler Cup starts out with a group stage, with one KHL team and one NLA team is each group, so that the chances of league rivals meeting are reduced. It can happen in the playoff stage, but has happened only once since the six-team format was introduced in 2010. Ufa and Zagreb (both KHL) met in the 2014 quarter-finals.

Team Canada's roster is posted here. Eleven play for NLA clubs in Switzerland. Six play for Medvescak Zagreb, plus one from another KHL club. Two are part of the Hockey Canada program. And there's one each from the AHL, Finnish Liiga, Austrian EBEL, the ECHL, and a Canadian university. The team is coached by Luke Richardson.

Avtomobilist is currently fifth in the Kharlamov Division. There are no Canadians.

Dinamo Minsk is second in the Bobrov. Canadians: Kevin Lalande, Ben Scrivens, Marc-André Gragnani, Matt Ellison, Rob Klinkhammer, Charles Linglet.

Mountfield HK from Hradec Králové is sixth in the Czech Extraliga. Alexandre Picard is the only Canadian on the squad.

Lugano is sixth in the NLA. Canadians: Ryan Wilson, Ryan Gardner, Maxim Lapierre. Head coach: Doug Shedden.

Davos is ninth in the NLA. The only Canadian there is Stefano Giliati.

Davos and Lugano also appeared in this year's Champions Hockey League. That tournament also started with a group stage where clubs from the same country were separated and spread out over the groups. The only time that Davos and Lugano might have met was the final. Clubs that Davos played in the Champions Hockey League this year: Djurgårdens IF, Dragons de Rouen, and Linköpings HC who knocked them out of the Round of 32. Lugano played Tappara, Adler Mannheim, HC Plzeň, and ZSC Lions who knocked them out of the Round of 16. The KHL doesn't participate in the Champions Hockey League.

[Team Canada beat Lugano 5 - 2 in the final.]

Frank Sidebottom Studies

Miss Measor's class made Frank Sidebottom heads. Source.

Chateau Laurier, 2008

Cape à l'Eau

General De Gaulle reviews the men at Greenock, December 24, 1942. Source.

Morton host Queen of the South.

On the strength of a five-game winning streak Queen of the South held first place for three weeks in September, but by early November they had fallen to sixth and became the second Championship club since the opening weekend to ax their manager. From  mid-October to early December they compiled a seven-game losing streak. Their worst losing streak of 2011-12, the year they were last relegated, was four losses. Currently they sit in sixth place with 20 points.

The last time these two teams met, Morton won 0 - 5, starting QoS on their spiral.

What was Morton's best ever result against Queen of the South? They beat them by the score of 7 - 1 twice in 1945-46, once in the Southern League and once again in the Southern League Cup. What was Queen of the South's best result against Morton? 4 - 0 (April 27, 2002, in Dumfries) and 0 - 4 (Feb 19, 2011, at Cappielow). What was their wackiest score? 6 - 5 for QoS, Feb 26, 2002, at Palmerston.

Queen of the South's Stephen Dobbie leads all Championship scorers with ten goals.

Today's match has a 1:00 pm GMT start, because of Christmas, but there's a chance it could get postponed or abandoned thanks to Storm Patricia. [But it's game on, and Morton win 1 - 0. Goal by O'Ware.]

How often have Morton played on Christmas Eve? 13 times before today. They have earned 4 wins, 5 draws, and 4 losses. The most recently match was in 1988, when Morton played Forfar to a 1 - 1 draw at Cappielow. The first time was in --

1898-99. December 24th, 1898, Hamilton Academical visited Cappielow and lost 6 - 1 to Morton.

From The Glasgow Herald, December 26, 1898 (page 8):

    GREENOCK MORTON V. HAMILTON ACADEMICALS.--This match was played at Greenock before a good attendance, on soft ground. Teams:--Morton--M'Pherson; Anderson and Orr; Colligan, Henderson, and Blair; Dale, Hunter, M'Culloch, Newlands, and Reid. Hamilton--Henderson, Allan, and Buchan; Douglas, King, and Thomson, M'Ewan, M'Donald, Eglinton, Clark, and Caldwell. The visitors scored after four minutes play, but for the remainder of the half were confined to their own quarters, and Morton crossed over with a lead of five goals to one. The second half was a repetition of the first as far as play went, but Morton had [hard lines?] all through, and only scored just before time. The result was:--Morton, 6; Hamilton Academicals, 1. The home forward line was much strengthened by the inclusion of M'Culloch, late of Crosshill Athletic, who is a decided acquisition to the team, and he led the others in excellent style. The Academicals were weak in the forward line, but their halves and their backs and goalkeeper fair.

How many Scottish League matches have Queen of the South played against the other 2016-17 Championship clubs?

Raith Rovers            105

Dumbarton                 93

Falkirk                        92

St Mirren                    76

Morton                      74

Dunfermline               70

Ayr United                  70

Hibs                           56

Dundee United          18

Queen of the South vs Raith Rovers is a rivalry I've never thought about. They've played together in the same division (always the second tier) nine years since the four-division format came in. In that time Raith have 15 wins, QoS 14, with 5 draws, in league play.

What if the SPFL went to one division?

The Scottish League could go to one division of 42 teams. Each team would play 41 games and see each other team once, plus cup games. The schedule would be unbalanced, as the home crowd would only see half of the opposition in any given year, which might improve attendance by visiting supporters. The only playoff would be at the bottom.

Current drawless streaks:

0            QoS, Dunfermline, Raith, Dundee Utd, St Mirren, Ayr Utd, Morton, Hibs

1            Falkirk

3            Dumbarton

At this points all the Championship clubs have between four and six draws. Hamilton Accies lead the SPFL with ten.

How is Schaffhausen like Greenock Morton?

Schaffhausen is on the north bank of the Rhine, in an area that would be part of Bavaria if the borders weren't so medieval. The Rhine is even mightier than the Clyde, but Schaffhausen's stretch of it is above the Rhine Falls, making its location more like Lanark's than Greenock's.

FC Schaffhausen is a 19th-century foundation (1896), and has spent many many years in the Swiss second tier without a Swiss title or Swiss Cup. Team colours are black and gold. Stadion Briete is a little bit like Ochilview.

It's the quarter-finals of the Emperor's Cup. The eight remaining clubs are all from J1.

Yokohama F. Marinos [2 - 1] Gamba Osaka

Kashima Antlers [1 - 0] Sanfrecce Hiroshima

Omiya Ardija [4 - 2 aet] Shonen Bellmare

FC Tokyo [1 - 2] Kawasaki Frontale

Marinos have won the cup 7 times, Gamba 6, Antlers 4, Sanfrecce 3, Bellmare 3, FC Tokyo once, and the other two never.

Empress's Cup semi-finals and final:

Match No. 45, Nippon TV Beleza 0 - 1 Albirex Niigata Ladies

Match No. 46, Vegalta Sendai Ladies 1 - 3 INAC Kobe Leonessa

Final tomorrow: Albirex Niigata Ladies [0 - 0] INAC Kobe Leonessa [Kobe win on penalty kicks, and win the cup.]

Leonessa have won the Empress's Cup five times previously, and Albirex have been runners-up three [now four] times.

Genk or Gent? I don't know much about Belgian football, but I do know that there ought to be a Belgian comic with a pair of characters named Genk and Gent in it.

Matricule number. The more venerable Belgian clubs are numbered according to when they first registered with the RBFA (aka KVBV, aka l'URBSFA). Gent is 7. Genk is 322. Also, if a Belgian club is 50 years or older it can add the word Royale or Koninklijke to its name. Both Gent and Genk are Koninklijke. Both clubs are in the Dutch-speaking part of Belgium.

The holders of the top 8 matricule numbers in Scotland would be Queen's Park, Clydesdale, Vale of Leven, Dumbreck, Third Lanark, Eastern, Granville, and Kilmarnock.

On Boxing Day Tuesday KRC Genk [2 - 0] KAA Gent.

Wick Academy vs Strathspey Thistle [postponed]

Nyanbo!

Nyanbo!

Young Sibylle of Cleves

Sibylle of Cleves, aged 14, on the occasion of her betrothal, 1526.