Plenty of Nothing

Nancy Sandars

You may know N. K. Sandars as the translator of the Penguin Gilgamesh. She was born in 1914, and served in the Second World War as a dispatch courier and in military intelligence. Trained as an archaeologist, she was an expert on Bronze Age France. She lived to be 101. Obit.

Largs Railway Station

Circa 1905 (source) and 2005 (source).

Three O'Clock

This mantel clock was awarded to J. Grieve on the occasion of the Morton FC Sports Football Tournament 1887. It's now at the McLean Museum. Source.

Morton host Inverness Caledonian Thistle. Like St Mirren coming into last week's game ICT are above Morton in the table but have not yet scored a victory against them. The record so far is 2 wins for Morton plus a draw. This is Morton's fourth season in the same division as ICT, and the first in which Morton have won twice.

Hot: ICT are on an 11-game unbeaten streak. Not: Morton have two wins in the last eleven games.

The situation: Morton are out of playoff contention. ICT however can finish fourth if they beat Morton and Dunfermline lose to Dumbarton. If Morton lose and QoS beat Brechin (which undoubtedly), Morton will finish the season in seventh place. Dunfermline, who are sitting where Morton should be, can finish third, fourth or fifth.

Also today: Either Raith Rovers or Ayr United will win League One and promotion to the 2018-19 Championship. That would put the helicopter with the trophy somewhere near Carluke. The League Two title will be won by Montrose or Peterhead, positioning another helicopter in the vicinity of Stonehaven.

1978-79. Morton were at Fir Park where they played Motherwell to a 3 - 3 draw. Goals by Thomson (2) and Ritchie. 

John Baird, who is on loan to Morton from ICT, is excluded from today's lineup.

Morton's U20s won the Development League West this week.

Next year's home strip was unveiled this week. The shirt features blue hoops that fade out toward one end, much like Morton's season.

[Morton 0 - 3 ICT. Morton finish seventh. Despite their win ICT finish out of the playoffs and join the 2018-19 Championship. Ayr win League One and promotion. Montrose win League Two.]

Morton's 2017-18 highlights:

2017/8/12        Morton 4 - 1 St Mirren           league

2017/9/9          Morton 3 - 2 Dunfermline      league

2017/11/25      Falkirk 0 - 3 Morton               league

2017/12/23      Morton 1 - 0 Inverness          league

2018/1/20        Dunfermline 1 - 2 Morton      Scottish Cup

2018/1/27        Dundee Utd 0 - 3 Morton       league

2018/2/10        Morton 3 - 0 Dumbarton        Scottish Cup

2018/2/24        Inverness CT 0 - 2 Morton     league

Morton's 2017-18 low points:

2017/7/22        Motherwell 4 - 0 Morton        League Cup

2017/8/15        Morton 0 - 2 Livingston         Challenge Cup

2018/3/10        Falkirk 3 - 1 Morton               league

2018/4/14        Morton 0 - 1 QoS                  league

2018/4/21        St Mirren 2 - 1 Morton           league

2018/4/28        Morton 0 - 3 ICT                    league

Morton's game-winning goals 2017-18:

2017/7/15          Berwick             away            own goal

2017/7/18          Queen's Park    Cappielow    shootout  

2017/7/29          Edinburgh City  Cappielow    Robert McHugh

2017/8/12          St Mirren           Cappielow    Michael Tidser

2017/9/9            Dunfermline      Cappielow    Jai Quitongo

2017/9/16          QoS                  away            Jai Quitongo

2017/10/14        Brechin             away            Andy Murdoch

2017/11/25        Falkirk               away            Gary Harkins

2017/12/2          Brechin             Cappielow    Scott Tiffoney

2017/12/23        Inverness CT    Cappielow    Gary Harkins

2018/1/20          Dunfermline      away            Jai Quitongo

2018/1/27          Dundee Utd      away            Thomas O'Ware

2018/2/3            Dunfermline      Cappielow    Gary Oliver

2018/2/10          Dumbarton       Cappielow     Frank Ross

2018/2/20          Dumbarton        away            Thomas O'Ware

2018/2/24          Inverness CT    away             Scott Tiffoney

2018/3/24          Brechin             Cappielow    John Baird

2018/4/10          Dumbarton       Cappielow     Jack Iredale

Plenty of Nothing's objectives for Morton 2017-18 -- did they achieve them?

1) Beat everyone at least once. No. Couldn't beat Livi.

2) Beat someone four times. No.

3) Finish above St Mirren. No.

4) Finish above Inverness CT. [No.]

5) Make the playoffs. No.

6) Get on television. Yes.

7) Score more goals than last season. Yes.

8) Play Hearts. No.

9) Win the Challenge Cup. No.

How did Morton fare against each divisional rival?

Brechin        3 wins, 1 draw. 8 goals for, 2 goals against. 10 points.

Dunfermline        2 wins, 2 draws.  6 goals for, 4 goals against. 8 points.

Dumbarton        2 wins, 2 draws. 5 goals for, 3 goals against. 8 points.

[Inverness CT        2 wins, 1 draw, 1 loss. 4 goals for, 4 goals against. 7 points.]

St Mirren        1 win, 2 draws, 1 loss. 8 goals for, 6 goals against. 5 points.

Dundee Utd        1 win, 1 draw, 2 losses. 5 goals for, 5 goals against. 4 points.

QoS        1 win, 1 draw, 2 losses. 4 goals for, 5 goals against. 4 points.

Falkirk        1 win, 3 losses. 4 goals for, 5 goals against. 3 points.

Livingston        1 draw, 3 losses. 3 goals for, 8 goals against. 1 point.

Overview: Morton did finish with a winning record overall and a positive goal difference. And they did make the Scottish Cup quarter-finals. And they did score more goals and allow fewer than last year. And yet. And yet.

Rumour has it that this is Jim Duffy's final game as Morton manager. [Garbage, says Duffy in the Tele.] [Except that it's true.]

[Today is Douglas Rae's last day as Chairman.]

[Thomas O'Ware is moving on. He has been with Morton since 2011.]

Morton's next game will probably be a friendly on June 30th.

Top and bottom Championship clubs week by week (3/3):

Week 25            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 26            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 27            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 28            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 29            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 30            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 31            St Mirren            Brechin R

Week 32            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 33            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 34            St Mirren P        Brechin

Week 35            St Mirren            Brechin

Week 36            St Mirren            Brechin

P = promoted; R = relegated

Pyramid playoffs, first leg:

Cove Rangers [4 - 0] The Spartans

Cove Rangers, winners of the Highland League, are from Aberdeen. The Spartans, winners of the Lowland League, are from Edinburgh. Either is a good fit for the SPFL.

Threave Rovers have won the South of Scotland League. They helped form the Lowland League in 2013, then dropped down from it in 2016. [Kelty Hearts win the East of Scotland League.]

2018 CONCACAF Champions League, finals, second leg:

Guadalajara 1 - 2 Toronto FC (3 - 3 aggregate)

(Guadalajara win on penalty kicks and advance to the FIFA Club World Cup in December.)

Abruzzo: Pineto [0 - 0] Avezzano

Allsvenskan: Kalmar FF [3 - 0] Malmö FF

USL: Ottawa Fury [0 - 3] FC Cincinnati

Regionalliga Südwest: TSV Schott Mainz [1 - 3] 1. FC Saarbrücken

With two games to go, Saarbrücken are league champion.

League of Ireland, First Division: UCD 3 - 2 Wexford

UCD have played each opponent once and sit atop the table with 7 wins, 1 draw and 1 loss.

J2: Mito HollyHock [1 - 2] Kyoto Sanga

Kanto Soccer League: Yokohama Takeru [2 - 2] Tokyo 23 FC

Kanto University Soccer League: Tsukuba [1 - 1] Toyo

Ayrshire Cup, Round Two: Hurlford United 3 - 4 Largs Thistle (Wed)

SJFA West First Division: Cambuslang Rangers [0 - 3] Largs Thistle

Watch Kaoru Mori Draw

Watch Kaoru Mori pencil, ink, ink, ink, ink, and tone Amir from A Bride's Story.

Understand Saarland through Maps

The dat/das line runs through Saarland. Source.

The Duchy of Lorraine and the Electorate of Trier were Catholic, but the County of Nassau-Saarbrücken was Calvinist. Source.

In the 2017 election three of four districts voted Christian Democrat, but Saarbrücken went Social Democrat. Source.

It completes a stairwell. Source.

Women's Hockey Champions 2018

Bisons. Source.

Clarkson Cup (CWHL): Markham Thunder

Isobel Cup (NWHL): Metropolitan Riveters

U Sports: University of Manitoba Bisons

NCAA: Clarkson

Finland: Kärpät

France: Besançon Doubs

Germany: Memmingen

Russia: Agidel Ufa

Sweden: Luleå

Switzerland: ZSC Lions

Japan: Seibu Princess Rabbits

Rabbits. Source.

Centennial Swimming Pool

I have never gone inside the Centennial Swimming Pool at Gottingen and Cogswell, but this guy has.

Georg und der Drache

On the Rasthaus St. Johann in Saarbrücken. Source.

Slim Tower

The Paisley Snail

A snail discovered in a bottle of Stevenson Ginger Beer in Paisley in 1928 was the foundation of modern tort law. Donoghue v Stevenson.

Morton visit Paisley.

The situation: Morton are in sixth place with 50 points, and are still in contention for the final playoff spot -- just. In order for Morton to finish fourth they must beat St Mirren and Inverness; Dunfermline must lose to Inverness and Dumbarton; and Morton must pull ahead of Inverness on goal difference if Inverness also beat Livi and they both end up with 56 points. I think the chances of all this happening are 1 in 162.

There's also this: if Morton lose to St Mirren and ICT, and Queen of the South beat Dundee United and Brechin, Morton will finish seventh.

So in short if Morton lose or play to a draw today they are out of the playoffs and in the 2018-19 Championship.

St Mirren won the division title last weekend, but they have yet to defeat Morton. A win for the Buddies will even up the season series which currently stands at 1 win for Morton with 2 draws. They receive their league trophy today.

Morton have not won a competitive match in St Mirren's park since April 10th, 1999. Is that their longest run of futility in Paisley? No. They did not win at Love Street from Oct 25th, 1919 till April 23rd, 1940, though, to be fair, in those days there was usually only one opportunity per annum.

Morton did win the Renfrewshire Cup in Paisley on July 20th, 2013.

If Morton play to a draw today and again next week they will duplicate their cumulative result of 2016-17: 13 wins, 13 draws and 10 losses. But it'll be worth much less because the presence of Brechin in the division has lifted all the other teams by about 3 points.

[St Mirren win 2 - 1. Morton goal by Doyle.]

Today's other games: Dumbarton [2 - 5] Falkirk; Inverness CT [2 - 2] Dunfermline; Livi [3 - 0] Brechin; QoS [3 - 0] Dundee United.

[The upshot: Morton do not make the playoffs.]

Will St Mirren's promotion mean a return of the Renfrewshire Cup, which has not been played since 2014? Maybe not. The expansion of the League Cup into July has shortened the window for pre-season friendlies to about two weeks. Also, after the 2018-19 League Cup (in which the seeding will be based on 2017-18 table positions) St Mirren will be in Pot One South, giving them a one-in-four chance of playing in Morton's group each year. Plus as perennial finishers below the split St Mirren are due back in the Championship in six years.

On the other hand, a Renfrewshire Derby draws crowds:

Attendances at Cappielow for the Renfrewshire Derby this decade:

4959        2011/8/23        Morton 3 - 4 St Mirren        League Cup

3277        2012/7/21        Morton 0 - 1 St Mirren        Renfrew. Cup

2811        2014/7/19        Morton 0 - 1 St Mirren        Renfrew. Cup

5343        2015/8/21        Morton 0 - 0 St Mirren         league

4736        2016/1/2          Morton 0 - 1 St Mirren        league

3378        2016/11/1        Morton 3 - 1 St Mirren        league

4609        2017/4/11        Morton 1 - 4 St Mirren        league

4661        2017/8/12        Morton 4 - 1 St Mirren        league

4126        2018/1/2          Morton 1 - 1 St Mirren         league

Longest stretch without a game. Excluding the Renfrewshire Cup Morton and St Mirren did not play a competitive match between Jan 1st, 1952 and May 6th, 1964.

When did St Mirren last have a winning season in the Premiership? 1984-85. Good luck!

1978-79. April 18th Morton hosted Hibernian for the second time in four days and beat them 3 - 0. Russell, McNeil, Ritchie. This was Morton's final home fixture of the season.

April 21st Morton visited Partick Thistle and lost 1 - 2. Ritchie scored on a penalty kick.

1933-34. April 21st Morton visited Dumbarton and lost 3 - 1. That ends the 1933-34 season. Morton finished fifth in Division Two with 15 wins, 5 draws and 12 loses, and a goal difference of +3. Not bad I guess, but in those days they were expected to be in the top division, and not lose 10 - 1 to St Bernard's.

Today in 1934 the Scottish Cup final between Rangers and St Mirren was played. Well, one team showed up: Rangers won 5 - 0.

Goal difference and relegation. Since 1994, what has been the worst goal difference by a second tier club? Dumbarton were -71 in 1995-96. They finished tenth and were relegated.

What was the best goal difference by a club that still got relegated anyway? Dunfermline were +3 in 2012-13, finished ninth and lost in the playoffs.

What was the worst goal difference by a club that avoided relegation? In 1999-00 Airdrieonians were -40.

What was the best goal difference by a club that finished in the last safe spot? Morton were +1 in 1996-97 and finished eighth. But they were 17 points above ninth-place Clydebank so no sleep was lost in Greenock. 

Since 1994, what are the greatest teams of the First Division/Championship?

Hearts 2014-15                    91 pts

Hibs 1998-99                       89 pts

Falkirk 2002-03                    81 pts

Rangers 2015-16                 81 pts

St Johnstone 1996-97          80 pts

The best St Mirren can do this year is 77 points.

When did each 2017-18 Championship club last play in the top tier?

2016-17        Inverness CT

2015-16        Dundee United

2014-15        St Mirren

2011-12        Dunfermline

2009-10        Falkirk

2005-06        Livingston

1987-88        Morton

1984-85        Dumbarton

1963-64        Queen of the South

not ever         Brechin

Years in which neither Celtic nor Rangers finished first or second, and who did:

1896-97        Hearts and Hibs

1902-03        Hibs and Dundee

1903-04        Third Lanark and Hearts

1959-60        Hearts and Kilmarnock

1964-65        Kilmarnock and Hearts

Read about the troubles of Fort William FC.

Scottish Junior Cup, semi-finals, second leg:

Hurlford [1 - 1] Wishaw

Lochee [0 -2] Auchinleck Talbot

[Hurlford and Auchinleck advance to the final.]

2018 CONCACAF Champions League, final, first leg:

Toronto FC 1 - 2 Guadalajara

2018 AFC Champions League, Group Stage, matchday 6:

Group E: Tianjin Quanjian 3 - 2 Kashiwa Reysol

Group F: Kawasaki Frontale 2 - 2 Ulsan Hyundai

Group G: Guangzhou Evergrande 3 - 1 Cerezo Osaka

Group H: Kashima Antlers 0 - 1 Suwon Samsung Bluewings

Kashima Antlers are the only Japanese club to advance to the Round of 16.

USL: Ottawa Fury [1 - 1] North Carolina FC

This is Ottawa's home opener.

Abruzzo: L'Aquilo [1 - 3] Pineto

Allsvenskan:

Djurgårdens IF 3 - 0 Malmö FF (April 18th)

Malmö FF [3 - 1] IF Brommapojkarna (April 23rd)

J2: Tokyo Verdy [3 - 0] Mito HollyHock

23rd Tokyo Metropolitan Football Tournament, semi-finals:

Tokyo United [1 - 0] Toyo University

Tokyo Musashino FC [0 - 2] Komazawa University

71st Aomori Prefecture Soccer Championship, semi-finals:

Vanraure Hachinohe [3 - 5] Blancdieu Hirosaki

ReinMeer Aomori [5 - 1] Hachinohe Gakuin University

Regionalliga Südwest: 1. FC Saarbrücken [2 - 0] Offenbach

League of Ireland, First Division: Longford Town [0 - 2] UCD