Something in Kawabata craved solitude, but he also enjoyed going to Tokyo bars. Once, quite by accident, we met in a bar. The next time I saw him he expressed pleasure in having seen me there, as he had been afraid I was too serious.
On another occasion, I had an unexpected glimpse into his private life. A hostess in a bar asked if it was true I had a house in Karuizawa. Although I was surprised by the question, I admitted that I had. She surprised me even more by saying, "I have a favor to ask I can't ask of anyone else. Please do it. I'll clean your house or do anything else you ask." We agreed to meet the next day at my hotel.
She appeared as promised and gave me a letter. She asked that when I was next in Karuizawa that I give it to Kawabata, adding that it should be when Mrs. Kawabata was not present. I accepted the letter, though I felt uncomfortable. I took it with me to Karuizawa and had it in my pocket when I visited Kawabata. At a certain moment Mrs. Kawabata went into the kitchen. This was my chance, but I stopped. I had no idea of the contents of the letter, but from the manner of the hostess, it probably contained something that would upset Mrs. Kawabata. Because I felt affection for her but not for the hostess, I did not give it to him. I often have mulled over my decision. Did I act out of cowardice? Did I deprive Kawabata of comfort in his loneliness? And why did I not refuse the hostess's request in the first place?
I shall never know the answer to these questions. I had inadvertently become involved in the private life of a great man and lacked the wisdom to act with assurance.
Donald Keene, Chronicles of My Life, pages 147-48.
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