Plenty of Nothing

UCD at Waterford

Reginald's Tower in Waterford. Once part of the city walls, it was erected by the invading Vikings to keep out the invading Normans.

UCD AFC visit Waterford United in the first game of the second half of the League of Ireland First Division season. At the halfway mark UCD are in 2nd place with 25 points.

Waterford United, The Blues, have been around since 1930, have won the League of Ireland six times (all of them between 1965 and 1973), and the FAI Cup and League of Ireland Cup twice each. They are currently 7th in the division. They wear blue.

Waterford was established by Danish Vikings in the mid-9th Century. In the 12th Century the Normans, expanding westward from South Wales, took over. The 17th Century saw an influx of Huguenots. Trade with Newfoundland made the city wealthy in the 18th Century. During the Irish Civil War Waterford was on the Republican side. Waterford crystal is from Waterford.

[Result: 0 - 0.]

Women's World Cup yesterday: Canada 0 - 0 Netherlands. Today: Japan [2 - 1] Cameroon.

Celtic are the 34th-wealthiest soccer club in the world.

Most SPFL clubs are receptive to summer football.

Crown Work

From a recent auction.

Morioka Castle

Morioka Castle. Source.

Grulla Morioka entertain the Japanese Under 22 team. [Grulla win 3 - 1.]

The Japanese national team play Colombia on Tuesday in their final Group C game. If Japan beat Colombia, and Greece beat Ivory Coast, and Japan end up with a better goal difference than Greece, Japan will advance. [Colombia 4, Japan 1. Japan are out. Colombia go on the meet Uruguay.]

The Battle for Morton Castle

Morton Castle, by Andrew Spratt.

Two years ago I determined that the winner of the season's final meeting at Palmerston between Morton and Queen of the South would be awarded title to Morton Castle. QoS won and took the castle, but they went on to be relegated, so there was no meeting between QoS and Morton last year. But then Queen of the South finished first and rejoined Morton's division. Today the second-half meeting at Palmerston between the two clubs has come around again. Rules: Morton has to win to take the castle; if the game ends in a draw possession will remain with the incumbents QoS. Looking forward, the next Morton Castle seige is at least two years away, given the Ton's probable demotion at the end of this season. [Queen of the South win 3 - 0 and retain the castle. Morton can not finish better than ninth.]

The Scottish Junior Cup has two quarter-final fixtures pencilled in for today. Irvine Meadow host Bo'ness United, and Camelon Juniors entertain Whitletts Victoria. You'll recall that Whitletts Victoria are the ones who dress almost exactly like Dennis the Menace. It seems the lower you go in the Scottish football pyramid the more often the games get postponed. Throw in replays and you have a situation where the clubs don't advance so much as stagger through to the next round. [Irvine Meadow and Camelon Juniors win.]

Celtic won the Premiership championship Wednesday. The Championship championship will probably take till the final weekend of the schedule to decide.

Yesterday US Boulogne visited Paris FC. [1 - 1.]

Tomorrow Grulla Morioka visit F.C. Ryūkyū in Okinawa, a journey of 1936 km by air. After Week 3 of the J3 season Morioka held first place and Ryūkyū second. [Grulla win 0 - 1.]

It's No a Castle, It's a Toby Jug

Claypotts Castle, Dundee, Scotland's only kiln-fired ceramic castle. Can hold up to four million fluid ounces. Source.

Morton visit Dens Park to play division leaders Dundee FC. Morton are twelve points out of ninth place going into today's play. Only the most Panglossian optimist could suppose the Greenock men will avoid relegation now. Or would the most Panglossian optimist think Morton's relegation makes this the best of all possible worlds? Whatever! Can Morton play the spoiler and knock Dundee out of first, that's the question.

What would be the best of all possible Scottish Championships? I think it would be: Morton, St Mirren, Kilmarnock, Partick, Dumbarton, Airdrieonians, Queen of the South, Ayr United, Falkirk and Clydebank. Clydebank?! They only exist as a junior club now, but surely in their time they were Morton's ideal local rival, the Other Shipbuilding Town on the Clyde. The year Morton won the Cup they had to go through Clydebank, and the Bankies were the only one of seven opponents to hold them to a draw. See here.

Fouad Bachirou will play for the Comoros national team against Burkina Faso Wednesday. (Against Burkina Faso ON Wednesday. Burkina Faso Wednesday is no a real club.)

[Dundee win 2 - 0. Morton cannot finish better than third place.]

Four Japanese clubs joined the Asian Football Confederation Champions League group stage this midweek. Cerezo Osaka played Pohang Steelers. Sanfrecce Hiroshima played Beijing Guoan. Yokohama F Marinos played Jeonbuk Hyundai Motors. And Kawasaki Frontale played Guizhou Renhe. [Pohang 1 - 1 Osaka. Hiroshima 1 - 1 Beijing. Jeonbuk 3 - 0 Yokohama. Kawasaki 1 - 0 Guizhou.]

Boulogne visit Uzes. [Uzes win 1 - 0.]

Dennis the Menace on Ash Street, Dundee. Source.

Yakuimon

Mito was once a stronghold of the Tokugawa clan, so obviously there's a castle, right? Unfortunately, Mito Castle was bombed to pieces in WWII. This gate did survive, however, and you can see it today on Mito Castle Ruins Street, right next to the high school. See here for a tour of the castle site. Photo.

A yakuimon is a specific type of gate, described here. For defensive purposes it was not the best design, because the large overhanging roof tended to block the defenders' view of the enemy's approach.

The character 門 is pronounced mon, and means gate. It is probably the easiest Japanese character to remember because it looks just like what it describes, and is the basis of a lot of kanji related to doors and coming and going. Good word to know at the airport too.

The soccer season is half over in the places where they play from March to November. After 21 games Mito HollyHock sit eleventh out of twenty-two clubs, with 9 wins, 4 draws and 8 losses, and a goal difference of +2. This is an improvement on last year, when they finished 17th.

Our men in Ireland, University College Dublin AFC, find themself in eleventh place as well, which is a bit worse for them because there are now only eleven clubs in the Premier Division, twelfth-place Monaghan United having dropped out at the half for financial reasons. But it means that UCD and everyone else in the division are safe from relegation this year.

Pohang Steelers are off last year's pace, and currently sit in seventh place in the K League.

Montreal Impact are eighth out of ten clubs in the MLS Eastern Conference, but they're ahead of Toronto FC, which is the main thing.

Today is Fair Saturday in Greenock.

Easter Greenock

Port Glasgow has Newark Castle. Did Greenock ever have a castle? Uh huh. Easter Greenock Castle stood about half a mile uphill from Cappielow Park. It was in pretty rough shape when this sketch was done two hundred years ago. The ruin was carted off in the 1830s when found to be in the path of a railway. The name Castle Road is all that remains. Tales of the Oak quotes the following brilliant line about the castle's decline, that could easily have been written about this year's Greenock Morton season: And thus the ancient glory of Greenock is now crowned with a colony of piggeries.

Queen of the South FC visit Cappielow Park today for their final meeting of 2011-12 with Greenock Morton. QoS are coming off a victory over Ayr United last weekend. If the Doonhamers win today, and Ayr and Raith both lose, QoS will be in eighth place. Morton, who hold seventh, would naturally also like to win and perhaps place Partick Thistle between them and the bottom group. A win today would also preserve the possibility of the Ton ending this season with a .500 record at home. Morton are without three suspended players today.

[Morton 2 - 2 QoS. Goals by Bachirou and MacDonald. Raith win, so Morton are five points clear of ninth with five games remaining.]

[Celtic win the SPL and avenge their League Cup loss by beating Kilmarnock 6 - 0.]

Falkirk won the Scottish Challenge Cup last weekend. They are the most successful club in the (brief) history of that competition.

Scottish football is beginning to resemble Scottish history. That is, the throat-cutting parts.

Big game today at the Big O as Montreal Impact host Toronto FC. [Montreal win 2 - 1!]

Altrincham are home to Hyde. [Altrincham 1 - 3 Hyde.]

Last night UDC AFC visited Derry City at The Brandywell. Derry City is situated in Northern Ireland, and played in the league there until 1971. They were temporarily expelled from the League of Ireland in 2009 for writing secret player contracts, a charge now biting Rangers on the ass. Archie McLeod played for them in the Thirties. [0 - 0.]

Tomorrow Mito HollyHock host JEF United, who come from Chiba, not Chibi, and Pohang visit Seongnam. [Mito 0 - 1 Chiba. Seongnam 0 - 2 Pohang.]

 

Dundee in the Park with Morton

Dundee supporters motoring the A8 to Cappielow will for the most part fail to turn off at Port Glasgow to inspect Newark Castle and its famous doocot. Photo source.

Dundee FC travel to Cappielow today for their final match against Greenock Morton of 2011-2012.

This is the beginning of the final quarter of the season. In the third quarter, including one match postponed from the second quarter, Morton won two, drew four and lost four. The best they can do now is 59 points on the season. Ross County already have 56. Morton are not going to win the league.

Cause for concern: Dundee have a winning road record; Morton have a losing home record.

If the ten First Division clubs were arranged according to latitude, the resulting table would be very much like the standings today. From north to south: Ross County, Dundee, Raith, Falkirk, Morton, Partick, Livingston, Hamilton, Ayr, Queen of the South.

Today Largs meet Kilwinning in Scottish Junior Cup quarterfinal play. [Largs Thistle win 2 - 0!]

Tomorrow is the Scottish League Cup final between Celtic and Kilmarnock. Celtic have been to the final 28 times and have won 14. Kilmarnock have been five times and never won. They met in 2001, when Celtic won 2 - 0. [Kilmarnock win!]

Yesterday evening in Eire UCD hosted Bray Wanderers, and lost 2 - 3.

Today in Japan our team Mito HollyHock travel to Okayama to tangle with Fagiano Okayama. [Okayama 0 - Mito 3.]

In South Korea, Pohang Steelers meet Busan IPark. Fans of M*A*S*H will know Busan as Pusan. Busan and Pohang are both in the lower righthand corner of Korea, in the small part that was not overrun by the North in the early part of the Korean War. [Pohang 3 - Busan 2.]

Do any South Koreans play in Scotland? Yes, two of them, both with Celtic: Ki Sung-Yueng and Cha Du-Ri, though Cha was born and raised in Germany.

Today is the first ever MLS home opener for the Montreal Impact. They play the Chicago Fire at Olympic Stadium. I think I'll add the Impact to my group of summer soccer clubs of interest. For how can you not favour a team whose home field is the Big O? [1 - 1. Crowd just shy of 59000.]

[According to Twitter there are no pies at Cappielow.] [Dammit. Morton 0 - Dundee 2. But Raith and Ayr tie, so Morton cling to seventh.]

To the South

Morton Castle, Dumfriesshire.

Okay, I'm proposing an annual derby between Greenock Morton and Queen of the South. The prize: Morton Castle. It's near Dumfries, but it's named Morton. Given that Greenock Morton travel to Dumfries today for a league match against Queen of the South FC, now would be the perfect time to begin this tradition. Winner of today's game gets the castle for a year.

The last time Morton visited Palmerston Park the Doonhamers trounced them 4 - 1. That game, and a Friday night mugging by Partick Thistle, are the reasons why Morton's goal difference is in negative numbers.

How do the First Division clubs stack up according to length of current residency? 1 year: Hamilton, Livingston, Ayr. 2 years: Falkirk. 3 years: Raith Rovers. 4 years: Ross County. 5 years: Morton. 6 years: Partick. 7 years: Dundee. 10 years: Queen of the South. Hamilton, Falkirk and Dundee were relegated from the Premier League. The other seven came up from the Second Division. For staying in the First Division, Queen of the South are best, but their tenure could end this spring if they don't get some points together.

Last weekend while Morton and Ross County were watching Victoria Park float away, the other eight First Division clubs all played to a draw, allowing Hamilton and Livingston slip ahead of Morton thanks to the Ton's minus 5 goal difference mentioned above. Note to copy editors: leave out the hyphen when you mention a goal difference. Plus-5 makes no sense.

You can read an appreciation of Queen of the South's Palmerston Park at Pie and Mushy Peas.

This weekend they're playing the semifinals of the Scottish League Cup, aka Scottish Communities League Cup, the one financed by drug money. Both matches are at Hampden Park: Ayr versus Kilmarnock today, and Falkirk versus Celtic tomorrow. (Celtic play a lot of their games on Sunday, have you noticed?) Kilmarnock and Celtic are the overwhelming favourites, so an Ayr v Falkirk final would be of surpassing awesomeness. Celtic have won the League Cup 14 times; the other three clubs combine for a total of zero wins. Who eliminated Rangers? Falkirk, in the third round. The last time a club from outside the top level reached the final was ten years ago (Ayr). The last time a non-top-level club won the cup was 1995 (Raith). The last time two non-top-level clubs met in the final was ... never. [Kilmarnock 1, Ayr 0, after extra time.] [Celtic 3, Falkirk 1.]

Here's a Glasgow Herald piece on Falkirk's Farid El Agagui.

The Greenock Telegraph has erected a pay wall, so I'll be linking there much less often in future.

Last weekend was round four of the Scottish Junior Cup. Auchinleck Talbot advanced. Largs Thistle's match was rained out and will be played today. [And it will, despite the cold weather. Hamilton v Raith, however, is postponed.]

[Ugh. Queen of the South win the castle, 2 - 1. Morton goal by Campbell. Largs and Arniston played to a 1 - 1 tie and will meet again February 4th.]

Dumbarton's Salad Days

Dumbarton Pier, Castle and Rock.

Odd how Morton and Dumbarton keep running into each other, considering that they don't play in the same division. In July 2009 they met in the first round of the Challenge Cup, Morton winning 1 - 0. This time last year they were matched in the Scottish Cup third round, playing to a scoreless draw at Cappielow November 28th before Morton won the replay 1 - 0 in Dumbarton on December 5th. In July of this year Morton met and beat the Sons again in the opening round of the Challenge Cup. And today the two clubs compete again in the Scottish Cup Round Three.

Dumbarton FC were one of the first soccer clubs in Scotland, and most of their greatest moments occurred during the reign of Victoria. They finished atop the fledgeling Scottish League in 1891 and 1892. They won the Scottish Cup in 1883, and then beat English FA Cup winner Blackburn Olympic 6 - 1 for the championship of Britain. Does anyone even play for that anymore? If not, why not?

Here's a list of SPL and SFL clubs, with the year each was last on the brink of insolvency. Clubs without an accompanying date have managed to keep their losses within acceptable accounting norms, so far as I can tell. (Methodology: basically, does the club's Wikipedia article include the phrase 'financial difficulties', 'financial ruin', or 'financial oblivion'?) Please do not hesitate to write in if I have overlooked your club's debt crisis.

SPL

Rangers, Celtic, Hearts (2004), Motherwell (2002), Inverness CT, Dundee United (1923), Kilmarnock (2009), Hibs (1990), St Mirren, St Johnstone (1986), Aberdeen (1917), Hamilton.

SFL Div 1

Raith (2005), Dunfermline (2008?*), Falkirk, Dundee (2003, 2010), Queen of the South, Cowdenbeath (1939), Morton (2001), Ross County, Partick (1998), Stirling (2009).

SFL Div 2

Livingston (2009), Brechin, Ayr (2004), Forfar, Alloa, Airdrie United (2002**), East Fife, Stenhousemuir, Peterhead, Dumbarton (1954).

SFL Div 3

Stranraer (2009), Albion, Arbroath, Berwick (1994), Annan Athletic, Elgin, Montrose, East Stirlingshire (***), Queen's Park, Clyde (2004).

* Reported in the press, but denied. ** As Clydebank. *** The Shire's troubles are chronic.

In related news, Rangers are up for sale.

And Morton win, 2 - 1! Non-league teams that are still in it: Buckie Thistle, Threave Rovers, Beith. Round Four of the Scottish Cup is January 8.