Plenty of Nothing

Mica Elephant

19th-century Indian painters used sheets of mica for canvasses to make durable and portable images. Source.

Elmer the Safety Elephant

Source. Source.

Willie Collum

Euro 2016 started June 10th, and continues until July 10th. It's a tournament featuring the top 24 national teams in the UEFA zone. Scotland are not in it, and in fact have not been in it since 1996. There is, however, one group of Scots involved: referees, including Willie Collum, the man who put the word offish in official.

Collum has refereed the Scottish Cup final twice, in 2013 and 2015. This past season he was temporarily assigned to the Championship after a row over his officiating in a Premiership match between Inverness and Aberdeen. During that spell he officiated Morton's 0 - 4 loss to Rangers, and Morton's 3 - 1 loss to St Mirren, not to mention Morton's 3 - 0 loss to Celtic in the Scottish Cup quarter-finals, so obviously he hates us.

Scottish assistant refs: Francis Connor, Douglas Ross, Bobby Madden, John Beaton. Madden refereed Morton's 2 - 1 loss to Raith on October 3rd. Beaton officiated at St Mirren 1 - 1 Morton, November 20th, and Annan 1 - 4 Morton in the Scottish Cup, February 6th.

Morton is the measure of all things.

The Scottish national team is absent, but England, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland are all in the tournament.

The Netherlands did not qualify for this tournament either, but Iceland did. Let's follow them in Group F:

June 14th: Portugal 1 - 1 Iceland

June 18th: Iceland 1 - 1 Hungary

June 22nd: Iceland [2 - 1] Austria

[Iceland advance.]

Which countries are in both Euro 2016 and the men's soccer competition at the Rio Olympics? Germany, Portugal, Sweden.

Collum Watch:

June 15th: France 2 - 0 Albania. No cards or penalties. Scottish economy collapses.

June 21st: Czech Republic [0 - 2] Turkey

Elsewhere:

The 2016-17 SPFL fixtures list is out, and Partick don't like it.

B36 [0 - 1] KÍ

Fujieda MYSC [2 - 1] Blaubitz Akita. [Blaublitz slip down to 6th place. Grulla Morioka are 16th.]

CAF Champions League Group B:

Enyimba [0 - 1] Zamalek

ES Sétif (Algeria) [0 - 2] Mamelodi Sundowns (South Africa)

About Enyimba International FC. Enyimba, of Aba, Nigeria, are the top club in that country, with 7 Premier League titles and 4 Nigerian FA Cups. They have won the CAF Champions League twice.

The club was founded in 1976, and play at Enyimba International Stadium, which holds 25,000. Team colours are blue.

They are in this year's CAF Champions League by virtue of their 2015 Premier League title, but this season they are mid-table.

Aba is a city of about 2 million in the eastern coastal region of Nigeria. The local language is Igbo.

How to follow Enyimba:

Home website (in English).