Plenty of Nothing

Coffee Manga Synergy

Source. Via Jocelyne Allen.

By Appointment to the Taisho Emperor

Although Crown Prince Yoshihito became Emperor in 1912, his enthronement did not occur until November 1915, on which occasion Gekkeikan supplied the sake. Source.

Where's the Ketchup?

Hirosaki Apple Park

I have an orchard. I have a statue. Apple Park. Source.

Strawberries

Mr Boh

Mr Boh, a.k.a. Natty Boh, has been cartoon spokesperson for the National Brewing Company of Baltimore since 1936. Source.

A quick Google Image search will prove that he's right in the middle of all that's Baltimore.

Pie O'Clock

An Epicure's Guide to the Playoffs

Bovril with bits. See here for an epicure's guide to the soccer stadiums of Miyagi.

Morton watch. The club advertised for a new manager April 30th, and on the same day new chairman Crawford Rae issued a statement calling for promotion in Douglas Rae's lifetime. Rae père will be 87 next month.

Names that have been kicked around in connection with the managerial job are Lee McCulloch, Ally McCoist, David Hopkin, Stevie Aitken, Danny Lennon, Stewart Petrie, Jim McIntyre. Might I add Arsène Wenger?

Add Billy Stark, who has just left East Kilbride because "an opportunity has arisen which I cannot dismiss." Stark managed Morton in the late Nineties. [No, he's going to be in charge of Scotland's U-19 squad.]

Morton played their final league fixture of 1978-79 at Tynecastle on May 7th, a rare Monday game, and beat Hearts 0 - 1. Bobby Thomson scored.

The Greenock men finished that season in seventh place with 12 wins, 12 draws and 12 losses for 36 points, and a goal difference of -1. Andy Ritchie was the league's leading scorer with 22 goals.

Worst points total by a club in the three-point-win era:

  4    Brechin                   2017-18    Championship

  8    East Stirlingshire    2003-04    3rd Division

10    Clydebank              1999-00    1st Division

11    Dumbarton             1994-95    1st Division

13    East Stirlingshire    2002-03    3rd Division

13    Gretna                    2007-08    Premier League

14    East Fife                1996-97    1st Division

15    Arbroath                 2000-01    1st Division

Playoffs:

Premiership playoffs, quarter-finals:

First leg (Tuesday):

Dunfermline 0 - 0 Dundee United

Second leg (yesterday):

Dundee United 2 - 1 Dunfermline

Tangerines advance.

The Premiership playoffs began in 2013. They're weighted in favour of the Premiership's Team 11, who get a bye into the final round. How has that played out?

2013-14    3 > 4; 2 > 3; 2 > 11

2014-15    3 > 4; 3 > 2; 11 > 3

2015-16    3 > 4; 2 > 3; 11 > 2

2016-17    3 > 4; 3 > 2; 11 > 3

Team 11 wins three times out of four.

The League One playoffs and the Championship playoffs have been in place since 2005-06. In both of them the ninth team from the higher division plays the fourth team from the lower division in one semifinal, the second and third teams of the lower division play each other in the other semifinal, and then the two semifinal winners play. Each team has an equal chance, but the second team from the lower division has tended to outperform the others, advancing 8 times as opposed to 6 times for the ninth team and 5 times each for the other two.

Championship playoffs, semi-finals:

First leg (Wednesday)

Arbroath 1 - 2 Dumbarton

Alloa 2 - 0 Raith Rovers

Second leg (today)

Dumbarton [1 - 1] Arbroath

Raith Rovers [1 - 2] Alloa

Dumbarton defeated Arbroath in just such a playoff on their way up to tier II in 2012. Alloa and Raith have never met in the playoffs before. [Raith and Arbroath are out.]

League One playoffs, semifinals:

First leg (midweek)

Stenhousemuir 1 - 1 Queen's Park

Stirling Albion 0 - 1 Peterhead

Second leg (today)

Queen's Park [1 - 2] Stenhousemuir

Peterhead [3 - 0] Stirling Albion

[Queen's Park and Stirling Albion are out.]

Pyramid playoffs, second leg (midweek):

The Spartans 2 - 1 Cove Rangers

Cove Rangers win on aggregate to advance to:

League Two playoffs, first leg:

Cove Rangers [0 - 0] Cowdenbeath

Lowland League promotion playoffs, first leg:

Threave Rovers [0 - 4] Kelty Hearts

Fort William FC have decided to carry on as a Highland League club.

Friendlies. Queen of the South have already announced their pre-season schedule. They'll visit Annan June 30th and East Fife July 3rd, then host Stranraer July 6th and Hearts July 11th.

And Falkirk visit Newport County on June 27th, Cefn Druid FC on June 29th and Aberdeen on the 4th of July. Then they host Airdrieonians on July 7th and visit Alloa on July 10th.

Details of the 2018-19 Challenge Cup probably won't be announced for another month, but if they follow the same format as last year the two League of Ireland entrants should be Bray Wanderers and Bohemians. It would be grand if Morton played Bohemians.

Soccer elsewhere:

Abruzzo: L'Aquila [3 - 3] Vastese

League of Ireland, First Division: Shelbourne [1 - 1] UCD

SWFL Division 1 South: Morton [2 - 3] Cumbernauld Colts

Regionalliga Südwest: 1. FC Saarbrücken [1 - 1] Hoffenheim II

JFL: Sony Sendai 3 - 0 ReinMeer Aomori (May 3rd)

ReinMeer Aomori [0 - 2] Vanraure Hachinohe (May 6th)

Cobaltore Onagawa [0 - 2] Sony Sendai (May 6th)

J2: Matsumoto Yamaga 2 - 0 Mito HollyHock (May 3rd)

Mito HollyHock [0 - 1] Tokushima Vortis (May 6th)

Kanto Soccer League: Briobecca Urayasu [1 - 2] Tokyo 23 FC

Kanto University Soccer League: Tsukuba 2 - 0 Hosei (May 3rd)

Tsukuba [2 - 1] Kokushikan (May 6th)

USL: Ottawa Fury 0 - 0 New York Red Bull II (May 2nd)

Penn FC [0 - 1] Ottawa Fury (May 7th)

Allsvenskan: Malmö FF 1 - 0 Djurgårdens IF (May 3rd)

Malmö FF [1 - 2] IFK Göteborg (May 7th)

Solitary Gourmet Action Figure

Source.

The Paisley Snail

A snail discovered in a bottle of Stevenson Ginger Beer in Paisley in 1928 was the foundation of modern tort law. Donoghue v Stevenson.

Morton visit Paisley.

The situation: Morton are in sixth place with 50 points, and are still in contention for the final playoff spot -- just. In order for Morton to finish fourth they must beat St Mirren and Inverness; Dunfermline must lose to Inverness and Dumbarton; and Morton must pull ahead of Inverness on goal difference if Inverness also beat Livi and they both end up with 56 points. I think the chances of all this happening are 1 in 162.

There's also this: if Morton lose to St Mirren and ICT, and Queen of the South beat Dundee United and Brechin, Morton will finish seventh.

So in short if Morton lose or play to a draw today they are out of the playoffs and in the 2018-19 Championship.

St Mirren won the division title last weekend, but they have yet to defeat Morton. A win for the Buddies will even up the season series which currently stands at 1 win for Morton with 2 draws. They receive their league trophy today.

Morton have not won a competitive match in St Mirren's park since April 10th, 1999. Is that their longest run of futility in Paisley? No. They did not win at Love Street from Oct 25th, 1919 till April 23rd, 1940, though, to be fair, in those days there was usually only one opportunity per annum.

Morton did win the Renfrewshire Cup in Paisley on July 20th, 2013.

If Morton play to a draw today and again next week they will duplicate their cumulative result of 2016-17: 13 wins, 13 draws and 10 losses. But it'll be worth much less because the presence of Brechin in the division has lifted all the other teams by about 3 points.

[St Mirren win 2 - 1. Morton goal by Doyle.]

Today's other games: Dumbarton [2 - 5] Falkirk; Inverness CT [2 - 2] Dunfermline; Livi [3 - 0] Brechin; QoS [3 - 0] Dundee United.

[The upshot: Morton do not make the playoffs.]

Will St Mirren's promotion mean a return of the Renfrewshire Cup, which has not been played since 2014? Maybe not. The expansion of the League Cup into July has shortened the window for pre-season friendlies to about two weeks. Also, after the 2018-19 League Cup (in which the seeding will be based on 2017-18 table positions) St Mirren will be in Pot One South, giving them a one-in-four chance of playing in Morton's group each year. Plus as perennial finishers below the split St Mirren are due back in the Championship in six years.

On the other hand, a Renfrewshire Derby draws crowds:

Attendances at Cappielow for the Renfrewshire Derby this decade:

4959        2011/8/23        Morton 3 - 4 St Mirren        League Cup

3277        2012/7/21        Morton 0 - 1 St Mirren        Renfrew. Cup

2811        2014/7/19        Morton 0 - 1 St Mirren        Renfrew. Cup

5343        2015/8/21        Morton 0 - 0 St Mirren         league

4736        2016/1/2          Morton 0 - 1 St Mirren        league

3378        2016/11/1        Morton 3 - 1 St Mirren        league

4609        2017/4/11        Morton 1 - 4 St Mirren        league

4661        2017/8/12        Morton 4 - 1 St Mirren        league

4126        2018/1/2          Morton 1 - 1 St Mirren         league

Longest stretch without a game. Excluding the Renfrewshire Cup Morton and St Mirren did not play a competitive match between Jan 1st, 1952 and May 6th, 1964.

When did St Mirren last have a winning season in the Premiership? 1984-85. Good luck!

1978-79. April 18th Morton hosted Hibernian for the second time in four days and beat them 3 - 0. Russell, McNeil, Ritchie. This was Morton's final home fixture of the season.

April 21st Morton visited Partick Thistle and lost 1 - 2. Ritchie scored on a penalty kick.

1933-34. April 21st Morton visited Dumbarton and lost 3 - 1. That ends the 1933-34 season. Morton finished fifth in Division Two with 15 wins, 5 draws and 12 loses, and a goal difference of +3. Not bad I guess, but in those days they were expected to be in the top division, and not lose 10 - 1 to St Bernard's.

Today in 1934 the Scottish Cup final between Rangers and St Mirren was played. Well, one team showed up: Rangers won 5 - 0.

Goal difference and relegation. Since 1994, what has been the worst goal difference by a second tier club? Dumbarton were -71 in 1995-96. They finished tenth and were relegated.

What was the best goal difference by a club that still got relegated anyway? Dunfermline were +3 in 2012-13, finished ninth and lost in the playoffs.

What was the worst goal difference by a club that avoided relegation? In 1999-00 Airdrieonians were -40.

What was the best goal difference by a club that finished in the last safe spot? Morton were +1 in 1996-97 and finished eighth. But they were 17 points above ninth-place Clydebank so no sleep was lost in Greenock. 

Since 1994, what are the greatest teams of the First Division/Championship?

Hearts 2014-15                    91 pts

Hibs 1998-99                       89 pts

Falkirk 2002-03                    81 pts

Rangers 2015-16                 81 pts

St Johnstone 1996-97          80 pts

The best St Mirren can do this year is 77 points.

When did each 2017-18 Championship club last play in the top tier?

2016-17        Inverness CT

2015-16        Dundee United

2014-15        St Mirren

2011-12        Dunfermline

2009-10        Falkirk

2005-06        Livingston

1987-88        Morton

1984-85        Dumbarton

1963-64        Queen of the South

not ever         Brechin

Years in which neither Celtic nor Rangers finished first or second, and who did:

1896-97        Hearts and Hibs

1902-03        Hibs and Dundee

1903-04        Third Lanark and Hearts

1959-60        Hearts and Kilmarnock

1964-65        Kilmarnock and Hearts

Read about the troubles of Fort William FC.

Scottish Junior Cup, semi-finals, second leg:

Hurlford [1 - 1] Wishaw

Lochee [0 -2] Auchinleck Talbot

[Hurlford and Auchinleck advance to the final.]

2018 CONCACAF Champions League, final, first leg:

Toronto FC 1 - 2 Guadalajara

2018 AFC Champions League, Group Stage, matchday 6:

Group E: Tianjin Quanjian 3 - 2 Kashiwa Reysol

Group F: Kawasaki Frontale 2 - 2 Ulsan Hyundai

Group G: Guangzhou Evergrande 3 - 1 Cerezo Osaka

Group H: Kashima Antlers 0 - 1 Suwon Samsung Bluewings

Kashima Antlers are the only Japanese club to advance to the Round of 16.

USL: Ottawa Fury [1 - 1] North Carolina FC

This is Ottawa's home opener.

Abruzzo: L'Aquilo [1 - 3] Pineto

Allsvenskan:

Djurgårdens IF 3 - 0 Malmö FF (April 18th)

Malmö FF [3 - 1] IF Brommapojkarna (April 23rd)

J2: Tokyo Verdy [3 - 0] Mito HollyHock

23rd Tokyo Metropolitan Football Tournament, semi-finals:

Tokyo United [1 - 0] Toyo University

Tokyo Musashino FC [0 - 2] Komazawa University

71st Aomori Prefecture Soccer Championship, semi-finals:

Vanraure Hachinohe [3 - 5] Blancdieu Hirosaki

ReinMeer Aomori [5 - 1] Hachinohe Gakuin University

Regionalliga Südwest: 1. FC Saarbrücken [2 - 0] Offenbach

League of Ireland, First Division: Longford Town [0 - 2] UCD